Home is where the is...

I've been in Mahwah for the past four days now. It's incredible how much can come streaming back in 93 hours; or, in this case, 24. I've been dodging seeing as many people in this town as possible. Luckily, much of my time has been spent with meeting up with family and my three friends whom I actually have left in this area. Needless to say, I've been quite lucky not to run into people I would rather stay far away from; that is, until this evening. Meeting Erin at Bradey's was, undoubtedly, the worst idea for dodging dodgy characters we knew back in high school. Next time I meet up with her, it should be somewhere more desecrate (or at least not in the heart of Ramsey). It's amazing how people can change from high school; some for the worst, some for the best, and some who simply do not change at all. In the case, of most individuals (not all, though most) I ran into this evening, not much has changed. Yet, I find that I am guilty of changing, and perhaps not for the best either. While I have completed a four year degree in English and Secondary Education, live in ENgland full time teaching at an 'outstanding school' (according to OFSTED), have a wonderful boyfriend, and have traveled more than most adults who live in the in the continental USA, I found myself this evening more driven to gloat at any individual who was rude to me during high school; my most insecure and difficult years. I'm not sure if that makes me worse or better than the people I ran into who have not moved out of Mahwah, but it certainly does not impress me. In fact, I'm a bit embarrassed by my behaviour; in reality, I'm not stuck up, nor am I full of myself (see two posts ago regarding my doubt about making it into the Oxford program); however, I find that the town I grew up in, the place that drew out the worst in me almost 7 years ago, brings out a part of me that I, personally, would be repulsed by, if I were to meet me in public. Then again, I wonder whether or not this happens to a lot of people who had a negative experience in their own home town. I wonder if there are still adults, much older than I, who find they fall into the same pattern, not because they are insecure with what they are, but because they know that some people never change and a defense is required to escape embarrassment. And then, perhaps I'm being too judgmental of myself, and there is a chance I was not nearly as bad as I saw myself tonight; we are, after all, our own worst enemy's, at times.

Moving on...

I've written more of my CS Williams story to submit to the Oxford program; I'm hoping that they look at my poetry piece as I feel far more secure about that than I do my prose. Fingers crossed :)

It was so good speaking to you this evening. I know that things went screwy (for the lack of a better term) back in April, but I always enjoy reconnecting with old friends, even if just for a few minutes. I understand what you had to do; in fact, I admire it. I would do the same thing if I were in your position, simply to save what I have. Perhaps, one day, we can resume a friendship. For now, best of luck and happy new year :)

Tomorrow I'm in Maryland until the 1st. If any of you lovely people want to get in contact me my new number is 551 804 8580. I'm a bit tight on a schedule, but please feel free to contact me, even if it's just to chat for a bit :). Seeing everyone is difficult, but I try to make time for as many people as possible.

Night all!

Merry Christmas and happy Chinese food day!

Tomorrow is a bit hectic so I thought I'd post this tonight:

A very warm Merry/Happy (depending on what country you're reading this from) Christmas to those who are celebrating today and tomorrow (a special Happy Christmas to The Lane family :) ).

To those who are celebrating the 25th of December with a movie and Chinese food, also enjoy yourselves!

My next post will be the last of the year, most likely reflecting on 2009 (par usual to my New Years posts...)

Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

*Nothing new to really write at the moment. Currently in Philadelphia and have been since Friday. It's been a great time here visiting my mom and grandparents. Tomorrow I head up to Jersey to visit my father and Lori along with Wife and Krause. Then heading back DOWN to Maryland from the 27-1st of December (somewhere between Columbia and Baltimore--catch me if you can kids...).

*Meanwhile, I've been getting my act together and gathering everything I need to apply for this Oxford program by the 22nd of January. References. Check. Application. Almost completed. Personal Statement. Half way done. 25 pound fee. Waiting for pay day. Woop Woop! I'm on my way...to possibly/most definitely being rejected; but hey, at least I can say I tried (and if I get in I may flip metaphorically or literally, I haven't decided quite yet).

*I'm realising how hard it is to spend long periods of time apart from certain people you usually see every 4 days...not fair. With that said, Skype is a wonderful thing :D

*Started running again since I had my surgery almost three weeks ago! Feels good to be up and at it once more (I feel revitalized--well as much as one can regardless of jet lag...)

I won't let you choke, on the noose around your neck...

*A week later, my face has gone down significantly and I'm back at work :) . I managed to track my progress of recovery via pictures; it was amazing to see how much the swelling would go down in the course of one day :) Now I'm just trying to get passed the horrific bruising and random patches of swelling around my face and neck. Hopefully by the time I'm home on Friday evening it will have cleared.

*Adam and I exchanged presents this weekend; of course he outdid my presents by a long shot. I had a feeling this was going to happen, though I wasn't sure to what extent. I think next holiday I'm going to need to be a bit more imaginative. The hat he had been eyeing for quite a while (though I still am not entirely sold on the style all together), typical Chancery Lane umbrella (which can also double as an item to fend off tourists and bums on the street) to replace the sorrily broken pocket sized one he had just binned, black leather gloves that could easily be used to commit murders (hehe) and nifty beard trimmer/shaver kit were no match for what I was given: A signed copy of Richard Dawkin's new book, a random selection of my photography put into a bound book, the three seasons of Black Books, and an iPod (which is currently in the mail).

*Adam and I (being the closeted pretentious couple that we are) have decided to both go for this Oxford Creative Writing program. It only meets once a term for an extensive weekend and the program focuses on the three main creative writing mediums: Poetry, prose, and script writing. While I've never actually composed a play before, I have my C.S. Williams prose that is nearly well past words and plenty of poetry to send off. I had initially decided that I was not to attend any sort of graduate program next school year; however, with the amount of contact hours this particular program requires and a possible change in my money situation for next year, I may retract my previous decision and go ahead for the program part time.

*Friday I'm back in the States; very excited to see everyone! :)

This needs to be a shortened post as I have a few bits to mark before I head in the for the evening.

Winter wind littered London with lonely hearts..

*I know I haven't updated this in a while; between my ridiculously slow internet connection and my incredibly hectic schedule, it's been cause for about a months absence. Regardless, I'll try to update you all on life during this post.

*First and foremost, I finally got that massive cyst I had in my face taken out yesterday at the dentist office. The most horrific experience of my life, what with the tugging, scraping, pulling and cutting of various parts of my facial/mouth cavities. The end result was this:

Scary eh? Well, either way, at least it's finished and I no longer need to worry. They've had to send it away for a biopsy, but that's just standard procedure, as I've been told by everyone.

*Last weekend I joined Adam and his family for The Lane gathering in Norfolk for their annual Christmas get together. At this point I met 17 of his closest aunts, uncles and cousins. What a fabulous group of people! I obviously come from a family with a great deal of life and quirks of our own; The Lane family certainly does not differ. And while the Klafters, Fleischhackers, and Levine's all have their own quirks, it's exactly that which makes them so wonderful! I wouldn't have it any other way. I immediately was made to feel welcome, which I know my family would have done (and has done in the past) for Adam, had he been in a similar situation. The area we stayed in was lovely; very festive and picturesque. I managed to snap quite a few good photos this past weekend. I'll post these on Facebook when I'm in an area with better internet signal.

*The weekend before that, Adam and I traveled up North to Manchester for an exciting Thanksgiving meal with Jackie and Tony. It was so nice to be with someone from home during this holiday season; everyone made me feel so welcome last year when I had our massive shindig; however, this year I felt it necessary to be with someone who understood what Thanksgiving is all about; being with your loved ones. And while Jackie and I could not be with our family and friends during this holiday, we were in the company of good friends (most of whom, for me, were new) and wonderful, loving boyfriends :) Again, photos will be posted in a few days or so.

*My newest music obsession is Mumford and Sons. Check out their newest songs 'Little Lion Man' and 'Winter Wind' which will surely be one of the top songs (according to Radio 1) for this holiday season. For those of you in the US, spread the word! This group needs to be heard over seas :)

*Home in one week and two days! So excited to see everyone! Remember: 18-23 in Philly; 23-27 in NJ/NY; 27-1 in MD! Let me know if oyu want to get together (if we haven't spoken already!)

*Off I go to bed. Lets see if I make it into work tomorrow. Fingers crossed the swelling goes down.