'Where the hell on earth was I...?'

And breathe. 

I made it through, what seemed like, one of the longest weeks at WH. I'm not entirely sure why, but I know that it felt as though it dragged on forever. I was so eager for the weekend and so resentful for Friday to come. PD during what should be my time off...WAF assembly (which, mind you, turned out great--I'm so proud of my kiddies :) )... tutorials with students and trying to get so much done before I could relax. Needless to say, I made and I can simply relax for a good 24 hours (I know that sounds pretty pathetic, but I have marking I need to do on Sunday--I'm getting use to working 6 days a week). 

I was looking into Adult Education Courses given by Milton Keynes. There's a course called 'Drawing for people who can't'. It sounded really great (especially since I wish I had stuck with art and have lost all drawing abilities)...only problem it's located at Shenley Brook End and well...to be honest...it's a bit too soon. I know there's a slim chance I would run into him every time, or at all for that matter, and regardless of the fact that I told him I want to be friends eventually, just need to take it very slow, it still feels too soon. I'm looking into a Creative Writing course for short stories or perhaps a pottery class. I just need something to bide my time...something to give me an outlet that is more social. Running is a great outlet, don't get me wrong, but it's not very social. I am still looking into joining a running club. We'll see what happens.

I picked up my clarinet last night for the first time in a while. It was great playing again. There's something so relaxing just sitting there, letting your fingers make the music (though I was really struggling last night...). When I was younger I never really appreciated the instrument for what it was. Last night I had a good look at it and saw, for the first time, its true beauty. The silver keys are still cold and clear and the wood is a deep brown, just like the day I got it. I love the smell of the case when I open it; a mix of goose grease, cork, and wood. It's one of those moments that instantaneously sends you back to a memory...last night I found myself sitting in the band room at my old high school. What I wouldn't give to have a second chance to practice harder, become more efficient. If I knew what I know now, I would have pushed myself to practice more, take music more seriously. I would have gone for All County, All Regions, and even All State band. I would have battled harder against the guy who took first chair; I never made it past third. My band director's reason for putting me there was because of how passionate I was when I was playing. The other kid who took fourth was a braniac who ended up going to Carnegie Mellon for University--he knew how to play but was so mechanical about it. Anyway, you can't dwell on the past--I just need to take some lessons and then find a group to play with; I have a feeling lessons won't start for another month or so. Regardless, it's something to look forward to :) 

Anyway, time to get ready to go out. One of the PE techs. is leaving so we're all going out for his last day before he starts his new job at the 'Alkatraz of England' as he put it.