God Bless You Kurt Vonnegut...

Kurt Vonnegut once wrote:

"What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured."

Interesting how he uses the word 'daring' rather than 'impressive' , 'useful', or even 'tedious'. I find it interesting because he's quite right. Trying to 'cure loneliness' is about the most daring thing a person could do when it comes to ones personal life. To put ones heart on the line is quite daunting; for you put yourself at risk for having it broken. When I first read the quote I over looked 'daring' and simply read it as Vonnegut implying that young people SHOULD find the cure for loneliness; adding 'daring' creates a whole new perspective, for me, as to what he was trying to say. My point to this post was, initially, to express how "fed up I was with trying to find the 'cure'" and that "it's not worth being 'daring' if it means becoming emotionally drained...not to mention slightly jaded." But after my walk home from work this evening (at a whopping 7pm...I sure do love 12 hour days...) my thoughts brought me to another conclusion: If we are meant to find this 'cure' then that's wonderful. However, if we're not intended to do so, then so be it. I'd rather be happy knowing that I'm not meant to find 'the one', and just live my life to the fullest, than trying to fight (and becoming miserable in the process) what is not meant to be. I know it sounds cliche; that's what I thought as well, but I think it's the only thing that's going to keep me going (not to mention sane--breaking down at 7am this morning in the staff room [thank God only two of my colleagues were around] is not something I'd like to repeat...ever...) at this point. I did not travel 4000 miles across the ocean to try to make anything work that is not...well meant to be. I made the mistake, for more or less the past 16 weeks, trying to do that. But the point is that I now know that my purpose for being here is the enjoy life, not to muck it up (for a lack of a better term) with something that probably will never happen. Why take the risk if you know that you will not make someone else happy in the way that a relationship should? I think that's what friends and family are for; knowing that you're making someone else happy with the reassurance that they will return the same (minus the sexual aspect of it all...ew...). 

Then again, I there is that chance that I'm simply feeling sorry for myself;that I've just been dumped and will get over it with time. Regardless, venting really helps...

With that ALL said (I just wrote a bloody novel...)I had a wonderful time at home over the past two weeks :) It was great to see everyone, and a bummer not seeing some (sorry guys, I really tried to fit as many people in as possible...summer is my next visit and with much more time :) ). All my picture are up on facebook for your viewing pleasure. New Years could not have gone any better. I got to spend time with one of my closest friends, with some other really awesome individuals, listening to some great music, and drinking copious amounts of alcohol--not to mention I had an excuse to dress up (I never give up the opportunity to do that!).

I'm off to unpack (my suitcase made it to my house--oh yeah, AirCanada LOST one of my suitcases somewhere between Toronto and London...morons...) and relax for the remainder of the evening.