This past week was exceptionally rough. Monday was fine, Tuesday was ALD teaching 100 plus year 8s how to play ultimate frisbee. They loved it--I was so pleased with the outcome and I think we might be able to get a team together for the spring. ALD means 6 hours straight of teaching and no frees. After, I went for a 5 mile run. Wednesday I, once again, didn't have any frees. 6 hours of straight teaching. I managed to get an entire class set of books marked and reply to all the e-mails I missed during Tuesday's madness. After pulling a 10 hour day I dragged myself back home though managed to catch up with Jason (I'll refer to him as Jay since the name is rather confusing)--at that point it was 11pm and I was exhausted. Thursday hit and by that point I was running on fumes and starting to crack. Year 11s were being complete assess--if they don't realize that their course work is important, at this point, then my case is useless. They are either going to complete it or they're not. Well, after that lesson I felt as though someone had pulled my plus and I lost it. The 'crack' in me began to split in half and I lost it in the staff room during break. Back upstairs after being consoled by two of my amazing colleagues. Year 8s and one of my difficult students really acted up. 3s on his report sent him into a complete hissy fit--another teacher stepped in without my permission--I felt like I was losing control--I just grabbed my books and left for the staff room for my first free in two days. Headphones on. Mark books. Shit I need to prep for year 13 next lesson. Hop on the computer in the office. Jimmy tried to help me (another colleague) but that didn't seem to help. Lesson sorted. Back downstairs to mark books. Head phones on. My head of department yelled my name to get my attention. (My sporatic and short sentences reflect my emotions at this point). Asking me if I was alright and at that point my 'crack' split in two and I lost my bearings. I couldn't help it--it was as if all this pent up stress I had been carrying around for the past how ever many weeks just came pouring out. To be honest it's amazing I lasted this long before this happened. Apparently the rest of the department thought I was taking my transition to a new country, new school, and first year of teaching incredibly well. And to be honest, I was. For some reason, this particular week was just really rough. It had nothing to do with my personal life (a serious change of pace since I got back from the States a month ago--oh hey I was dumped a month ago--where the hell did the time go...?), I think that everything is beginning to pile despite my unyielding effort to get everything accomplished. I need to come to terms with the fact that I cannot expect the following: all of my marking/planning to be caught up on...as a secondary teacher I will always be behind; I cannot expect to get everything perfect this year and even next year. learning this entirely new system will mean I have to start all over again (to some extent); I need to stop being a perfectionist because it's going to drive me nuts (easier said than done). Well, needless to say, after much consoling and a few things fixed, I felt much better (though I still feel like I'm incompetent, to some extent, in many areas of teaching and have SO much to learn). To be honest, without my department, I don't know where I'd be. Friday was a bit better aside from the note from the angry parent asking why his child's book hadn't been marked in weeks and why spellings weren't corrected. To answer this gem of a note: 1. I'm behind in my marking 2. the 'mistakes' you corrected were all notes taken from the board. if your child cannot copy down notes from the board at the age of 13, well I'm sorry, he needs to come and see me. perhaps I should have underlined them, but if I know the student can spell properly, as he does in the rest of his writing, and he's just rushing and not paying attention, well I'm not about to run after him with that.
That week is done and over with. No need to harp on the past. The only thing I can do is look to next week with high hopes. Today I spent most of my day in the City Centre. Started off with coffee at Waterstones and a bit of reading. I was a bit apprehensive of doing this (out of fear of running into Jason), but I wanted to get a book for Ireland and finish Twlight. I knew I was going to be in the City Centre for the day so I saw no reason for going anywhere else. I'm not about to NOT do certain things just because I want to avoid someone--that's silly and a bit pathetic. I bought a pair of army pants for the tourney up in Sheffield next weekend. They are having a Top Gun theme and I'm going combat for the night ;) Aviators and all--pictures will be hilarious, no doubt. I met up with various people from my department throughout the day. It was quite enjoyable.
On the topic of Ireland--I'm overly excited for this trip. I've decided to not only finish up the sights in Dublin I want to see (referring to the ones I didn't get to see the first time around), but I'm also looking into Cork or Kerry :) Jay offered to take me around Dublin (and even drive out to Kerry with me), which is incredibly thoughtful. The past few trips I've taken have been on my own--it'll be nice to know I have someone to travel with (though traveling on your own means you're destined to meet new people).
I'm starting to fall asleep so I'm heading in for the night.
2 comments:
Well, always remember that the only easy day was yesterday.
That was our motto during Navy Dive School and while I can’t help but think that “hell week” was easier than year 11’s. Congrads. You’re a combat veteran.
:) thanks for the uplifting words. Though I think I would crumble in about a day if I were in the Navy (and by crumble I mean completely fall to pieces ;) ).
Year 11s are tricky, this is true, but at least I don't have to hold my breath under water for an obscene amount of time :-p
Post a Comment