Sunny Days...

Back in school after a long (though very pleasant) Birthday/Jewish New Year. Southampton was very nice despite the less than decent shul experience. The service was long, the rabbi was okay, the crowd was extremely OLD and the chorus made me (along with Dave and his sister) cringe. The sermon was what I had a real issue with. The title could have been "Leaving our selves and coming back to our selves." This idea that we should not think that our actions do not matter in life, but that in fact, they really do (at this point the small Existential part of me that does exist is going "yeah right..." while throwing any book by Camus at the Rabbi). His over all message was as follows: Doing good will bring you closer to G-d.

Blank stare.

Richard Dawkin's wrote on this issue in his book The God Dilemma. He made the statement that many people only do good in order to please/bring themselves close to God. I find a major flaw in this mindset (mostly stemming from Dawkin's point). If we only perform acts of love and kindness in order to please or become closer to G-d, then does that not make us as sinful as the person who goes out and intentionally performs acts of evil? If we are choosing to do good simply to please ourselves and the almighty being, then truly, we are not "good," but rather looking for that gold star to stick into our notebooks in hopes that, come the end of term, when we're standing at those pearly gates facing that big scary headmaster, he/she sees that we have a plethora of gold stars and enough to enter into Heaven; a selfish mindset indeed. To further this, Dawkins asks what would happen if there was no higher being to please, no one to fear, and no place to fear going to, would people STILL perform acts of love and kindness? One can only hope.

Enough on my religious rant. Unfortunately, this is where my views of organized religion are headed. Don't get me wrong, the culture and the history of the Jewish religion will always be in my heart--forever--there is no doubt about that. Many Jews will agree that Judaism is much more than JUST a religion--it is a people, it is a culture, and it is a nation. However, the existence of God and the over all idea of God itself has truly sparked many questions for me in the past few months or so.

Just to put it out there: it's official (by US standards). *Insert big beaming smile of happiness and joy* If you don't understand what I'm talking about, ask.

I'm at school right now during my free period so I should probably get some work done so I'm not here forever. (This post really has NOTHING to do with my experience teaching--though more about my experience in England...so I suppose it's okay that it's on here...)

More later!