It had to happen...

So regardless of my last blog post, I knew that there are going to be those days when I second guess my decision to travel abroad for teaching directly after graduating from undergraduate. I could have simply taken a job in Baltimore, Howard, or Montgomery County, and stayed local to my friends. I could have taken the safe rout, something I knew and was familiar with--then again, I don't think  I would have appreciated it as much, in fact, I know I wouldn't have. However, today was very difficult for me--in fact, the past few days has been rather rough. I found myself missing friends terribly, feeling a bit lonely, though never physically alone. My roommates are wonderful, don't get me wrong, and they certainly brought me out of the slump today, but they're either from England, grew up in the "British" school system, or are used to being away from friends for long periods of time. The two American women I met from the synagogue were nice, but there was something about them that just didn't fit with me. They're married/engaged and seem to have settled quite nicely with their significant other. They have their own friends, their own daily rituals, and to be honest, made me feel even more like an outsider without intentionally doing so. My students today were particularly horrible, though that really didn't dissuade me from anything-- I think it was the overwhelming amount of information about testing during our curriculum meeting that really brought me into a slump. I told one of my colleagues today that I'm feeling frustrated, after all that time and effort poured into the program at Towson, I feel as though I've almost regressed because I'm learning a new system. I'm frustrate and feel as though I should be farther ahead than I really am. Luckily he assured me that I was not alone and that there's no reason to feel like that--he grew up in England and still felt confused. As a side note,  I did something really stupid this morning that just added to the way I felt today. I found myself falling back into, what I suppose I could call, a bad habit. Luckily, I've taken care of it and it's done with--I don't think I'll ever find myself doing that again. I had to consistently remind myself that this experience abroad is my reward for putting up with certain things during my college experience--don't waste this incredible opportunity on thinking about certain people/things that are in the past because I'll never get that time back. 

I'm exhausted and I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. I should head off to fold laundry, plan, make lunch and then sleep. 

More later...