'I tell you, we are here on Earth to fart around...

Change of pace...

2011-05-11T08:18:00.001-07:00

Hello all!

I know it's a been a while since I lasted posted (according to the previous post, it's been since just following Christmas/New Years). I realise I've had this for a while (three years exactly this August), and I'm starting to think it might be time to shut this particular blog down (or just change directions). Now that social networks have provided us with the ability to check in on our friends and loved ones on a daily basis, it seems a bit futile to keep this as well.

That said I need a narrower focus; book reviews perhaps? Being in publishing does provide me with an endless access to books and what better way to pay homage to the ones I adore (and perhaps the ones I don't) than a good review.

On a different note, I'm on my way back to the US for a good two week stint (Philly, New Jersey, Maryland, Long Island -- same crazy list as always) . Adam is meeting the entire family; poor boy doesn't know what he's gotten himself into (nothing like a family made up of overbearing, but none the less loveable, Jews to really test his devotion to this marriage eh?).

Hopefully my return to the UK will provide me with the drive to change this blog into something less personal and more interesting.

In the meantime, happy spring kids! Get out there and enjoy the weather!

Winter Winds

2010-12-28T06:23:00.000-08:00

My last blog expressed my feelings about changing my 'Christmas' tradition for the first time in 16 years.

As I would have guessed, my first Christmas in the UK was fabulous. Much like with my time in Long Island, the amount of food consumed was ridiculous. Only difference was that now it was spread out over three days. Doesn't seem as though I've gained any (noticeable) weight, which, after the chocolate, alcohol, turkey, duck, chicken and everything else, is rather surprising. The food, to put it simply, was nothing short of incredible.

While we were singing carols on the Green with a majority of the villagers, I realised that I was in the middle of something that closely resembled Stars Hollow (a nice Gilmore Girls reference for those of you out there). Not only is the village small, but everyone knows who you are and are beyond genuine. I can't even count the amount of times I went up to introduce myself to someone in the village and they already knew/heard 'quite a lot about [me]'.

After 18'' of snow hitting the north a week ago, the landscape was something out of a storybook; a lovely picturesque scene. Going down the pub was a great time. Once again, people were nothing but friendly and the atmosphere was lively. Over all, I had a fantastic Christmas experience. And even though I was 3,000 miles away from the Levin/Fleischhacker family in Long Island, I still was able to Skype via the computer here!

I put a few pictures up for those of you don't have facebook. We'll hopefully be staying up North until the new year (though it's possible we'll be spending our time by the Thames for fireworks). I must admit, this is the first time in three years I won't be with Salcock for New Years. Love, have a good glass of wine and a few shots in my name and tell everyone hello for me.

As usual, I'll be posting my reflection update towards the end of the week with a look back at 2010. In the mean time, enjoy this grey area in the Holiday season!

Festavis for the rest of us...

2010-12-14T13:57:00.000-08:00

According to The Guardian, England could see a 'white Christmas' this year.

And for the first time since 1994, I won't find myself squeezed into the back of dad and Lori's car between various food items and bags of presents. We won't be dodging pot holes and snow mounds on Route 17 and 4. I will not watch as the vein on my father's neck grow larger and larger, close to the point of exploding (almost like clock work despite Lori's best efforts) somewhere between the Cross Bronx and the L.I. E. There will be no flipping back and forth between the 660 'traffic and weather' and our mixed 'Christmas tape' (All three Channukah Songs inclued) as we bound towards Melville, Long Island to celebrate the holidays once more. Instead, I'll be forging the crowds at King's Cross/St. Pancras headed north for Lincolnshire. Bags in hand rather than on seats. The vein will now be popping out of my neck (and possibly some colorful words from my mouth) as Adam now tries to calm me. Mumford and Sons will more than likely be music of choice.

And for the first time in 16 years, I will not find Amy commandeering the CD player (which changed to iPod in 2001). Kid's 'gift time', comprised of presents wrapped in both 'Star of David' and 'Christmas Tree' wrapping paper, will no longer seem like something out of Animal Planet. There will be no need to ask 'can Ashley eat this?' (regardless of not being Koshar for over a year). And while goodbyes take twice as long as normal, for we are all either Jewish or Italian, I do not know what this year's goodbyes will have in store. Instead, I'll be eating mince pies, sipping mulled wine, putting up a stocking for Father Christmas, and going down the village pub on Christmas Eve (just to name a few things I've heard about).

Goodbye Festavis Pole of Rout 110.

Hello North Kelsey Christmas Tree on the Green.

This Christmas, if you haven't already noticed, is going to be slightly different from previous years. From the traveling to the dinner itself, the Levin holiday shenanigans will be left to those out on the Island while I participate (and absurdly excitedly might I add) in the Lane family Christmas traditions. And yet, while I will miss what I've known since childhood, I am eager to experience what is in store for this 25 of December.

Turkeys, Tunes and Talks

2010-11-25T00:07:00.000-08:00

First, and foremost, a massive Happy Thanksgiving to friends and family celebrating back home today. Enjoy your extra two days off with one another (God only knows you all deserve it). I miss you guys so much, but know you'll have an extra turkey leg or piece of pie for me. I think the weather knew it was Thanksgiving at home and decided to be extra nice today; sunny, crisp, and clear. Can't get much better than that.

Adam and I went to see Jimmy Eat World on Tuesday night. The arena, O2 Academy in Brixton (London) was the perfect venue for a band such as this. High ceilings, massive, stadium-like, standing area (so vertically challenged people, such as myself, aren't left to watch the back of some guys head for two hours), multiple bars on both levels (negates long lines), and lower side areas so that you have the option to lean while still enjoying the music. Not to mention the decor was what you would expect of an old British performance area. Simply beautiful. It's been almost over 3 years since I last saw them (I think it as at the DAR in DC), and I have to say they get better with time (unlike a some bands, *cough* Eve 6 *cough* who, perhaps, should call it quits). 23, Big Casino, Table for Glasses, The Middle, The Sweetness were amongst some of the songs played. Though I think their final song, Goodbye Sky Harbor, in full performance, might I add, was the perfect way to end their set before the encore (the fact that they were able to incorporate a bit of technology with that one, and still have it sound brilliant, was mind blowing). Personally, I thought one of the best parts of the performance was the audience itself. There was a part of me that was a bit worried that they were going to attract 'teeney-boppers' and really young university students; luckily, I was wrong. People of all ages attended (I even saw a few pensioners there) making for a fantastic night over all.

Adam also came in second in The Guardian (Like the NYTimes) 2010 Travel Writing Competition (out of 2000 entries) last weekend. So incredibly proud of him. Check out his article at: http://www.guardian.co.uk/travel/2010/nov/20/reader-competition-adventure-winner

(Second from the top titled 'Mongolia or Bust').

Now, I've saved the best for last in this post. Some of you already know this because of facebook or because of my frantic texting, but if you haven't been updated, I had an interview yesterday with a publishing group. By the end of hour, I had a job. I will be, as of January, starting as the PA to the director of Elwin Street. Even better, I get to start off as an intern (unpaid of course) tomorrow until Christmas, which means that I have the opportunity to really get to grips with the company and see if this is the right place for me (of course this will also mean that she gets to monitor my progress and see if she thinks I'm still a good choice by the end of the few weeks).

It seems like good news all around.

Pens, flashes and cups of coffee

2010-10-27T04:54:00.000-07:00

Well well well...hasn't the past few weeks just been one surprise after another.

Let's start with one of my newest writing obsessions: Yelp. For those of you who have never heard of and/or been on the Yelp website, to put it frankly, 'get in.' Your online ratings guide to just about everything and anything, almost anywhere in the world, Yelp was brought to my attention by my lovely boyfriend after suggesting we attend one of their London events. So we journeyed a whole 5 minutes down the road towards Portobello to taste (for free might I add) the various cuisines and drinks from a variety of locally owned restaurants. Two hours later, we left delighted; stomachs full with sushi,crepes,quesadillas, and couscous, pockets filled with vouchers/menus, and ever so slightly drunk. Over all, a very successful evening. After that, I decided Yelp was to be my newest writing obsession, and, seeing I have a bit of time on my hands at the moment (ha), there was no reason not to make it so. For those of you interested in using Yelp, you can find it at: http://www.yelp.com (or .co.uk if you're in the UK). For my profile/reviews see: http://www.yelp.co.uk/user_details?userid=nO-AlmeSHteTNx3N8yKxWA

Right, from there came a second idea to bide my time in the world of fun-employment. Seeing as I'm always trying to promote my photography services, I decided to follow along with some of my other friends/fellow photographers and create a facebook page for Ashley Bess Photography. If you look on the side panel of this blog, you'll see I've put a direct link, for your viewing pleasure. So far, I have 122 likes, meaning that 122 people are following my page, hopefully resulting in clientele.

On that note, I did a shoot for The Baytree Centre yesterday for their 2010 Knit-Off/Clothing Drive, which was a huge success. To further this, for those of you who have been following along my photography via my flickr account, lifelessordinary7 , thank you and please keep up the viewing. However, after being given a wonderful tidbit of advice from another fellow photographer, I've decided to split my photography one more time. Now, if you're interested in viewing anything 'business' related (community events, weddings, photo shoots etc.) please see www.flickr.com/Ashleybessphotography. For all other 'personal' shots (artistic photographs) continue following lifelessordinary7.

Finally, and this is an exciting one, there is an opening with a literary agent in London for an internship/assistant position; we're meeting for coffee today to discuss the position. While it's not paid, it's much welcomed experience; experience that will most definitely help me transition into the editorial/literary world.

'The news man gives information, everything is under control'

2010-09-23T01:42:00.000-07:00

Hello all!

It's been some time since I last updated. A few things have happened, though at the moment I'm still in what one might call 'limbo'.

Currently, my job situation (something that has been the main form of both contention and excitement in my life over the past few weeks) is still up in the air. At the moment it seems I have two main prospects:

1. Working at an estate agency in London writing up contracts (writing and picture taking included).

2. A major publishing house in Singapore (yes, Singapore!) has been in contact with me regarding a position with their company. I'm still waiting to hear back about an actual interview, but I've been answering questions for them left and right. I had to submit a 'written test' for them yesterday. This prospect is beyond exciting.

Yet the most exciting bit is graduate school. It seems that King's is very interested in my application. However, because I did get my application in rather late (two days before the deadline), they've asked me to defer my application until November for the 2011 entry rather that 2010. To have the opportunity to study at King's would be out of this world (it is, after all, according to The Times Online, in the top 20. In the world! And to think back to the struggle I went through when trying to get into a decent university out of high school. How things change).

As a lot of you know, I'm coming home on Monday. I'm not sure how long I will be home for (depending on my VISA situation), but I will definitely be in the States until the 11th of October. Those of you in NJ/NY/MD/DC I've sent out an 'invite' for various dates I'm trying to get people together. Let me know if you're interested in meeting up. It would be great to see everyone!

Oh, and for you food buffs out there, have a look at this nifty little thing they have in London.

http://www.chinchinlabs.com/

Waiting

2010-09-07T05:56:00.000-07:00

At least this time off has offered me the opportunity to start writing again. Enjoy.

Waiting…

A continuous cycle.

Up. Eat. Run. Write. Wait. Eat. Sleep. Repeat.

One day you hope to find what you are so desperately seeking. What you have sought after for so long. For now you just sit. Sit and hope and think and wait. Watch the clock. Or don’t. It rarely changes its long uneven arms. Those wiry arms that crawl around its face. Perhaps one day it will drip right off the wall. Why not? Anything is possible when one is uncertainly waiting.

Eventually, you lose your purpose. Your reason ‘to be’. Draw the shutters and turn the lights off. Allow the darkness to consume you and you it. Devour its soul. Feast on its vastness. It will fill you to the brim, with only an inch to spare.

Or perhaps you triumph over the never-ending feeling of infinity. Forever is such a long time. Make lists. Plans. Jobs. Continue waking and walking until the clock begins to spin its outstretched arms once more and you lose track of its movement.

Weeks roll by. Perhaps even months. You keep your lists. Continue with your plans. Move on with your jobs. Until one day you look to the clock and the stark, painful realisation hits you once more. A blow to the brain, or perhaps ego: you are still waiting. You still lack purpose. No list, no plan, no job can fill the ever lasting void. A mere plaster over a festering wound.

What now? Where will you go from here? Weeks and months seem like eternity and one knows the length and torture of forever. Change paths or create trails? How long until you find what you crave or simply what will satisfy you? Do you give way to other options? Other ideas? Diverge from your original plan and make for new possibilities? Apparently, they are endless.

Your mind is made up. Make for a new path. Find a new way out. Out of the woods and into the clearing. The wolves have found something new to bide their time. You are free. Or at least you can feel freedom breathing down the back of your neck. Not hot and heavy, but light and sweet. A signal of things to come. Hope temporarily fills the void that has haunted you for so long.

For now continue with your lists. Keep making plans. Enquire new jobs. There is the light at the end of the tunnel and the clearing is just ahead. Eventually, your love of life will be restored. It will be slow, hesitant, cautious. It has been burned before and fears the flame that sits before it. One can never be too careful with fire.

One day, in the midst of your lists, you will look to the clock. Something has changed. It no longer melts off the wall. Those outstretched arms will embrace you. The time is now. Your suffering has passed and your reward is great. The wound has healed and the void filled. In the absence of the darkness, welcome the light and look forward to the new day.

Could things bee any more pathetic?

2010-07-28T00:49:00.000-07:00

And so it goes.

I've been in London now for five days and Adam has been gone for the same.

It's been an interesting experience. Being in a fairly 'new' city. Alone. Without a job. It's pushing the limits for me. I can assure you that. The evenings are the worst. I'm thinking about coming home, depending on how the next few days go.

On a lighter note, I currently have the worlds dumbest wasp stuck in my bathroom a. My attempts to 'free' it were something out of an I Love Lucy episode:

I decided to make a makeshift 'Bee Protection Costume': Barbour Jacket on, zipped up to my neck and hood on, stuck my hands into really thick present bags (since we don't have oven gloves), put my sun glasses on for protection, and attempted to open the window further. No such luck. Finally, after standing there for a few minutes, hoping said wasp would figure out that the window opened at the BOTTOM and not at the top, I decided to brave the elements. Turned on the taps to the shower. Got in for a few minutes. And then...all hell broke loose. Some shadow from the outside 'pissed off' this very unfortunate wasp (one I'm sure that was nothing more than the village idiot in its home hive. There's no way this thing had any lineage to the queen or anyone with brains) and it started for the shower. I yelped, jumped out of the shower as fast as I could (unfortunately without a towel. The hallway carpet is mildly damp now), and made a run for it, leaving the shower head on the floor of the tub sticking up. Realising this only seconds after fleeing the bathroom, I (screaming at this point) turned the taps off, only to find that the wasp had resumed its normal position by the window and water was now dripping from the ceiling. What a way to start my day. Sometimes I can empathise with Alexander from 'Alexander and The Horrible No Good Very Bad Day'. Maybe I should have stayed in bed.

'I hear you're counting sheep again, Mary Jane...'

2010-07-08T22:33:00.000-07:00

*Two weeks until I'm officially finished at Walton High. I still stand by what I said: I'm going to miss my students and the staff. I have made a few really great friends and taught some phenomenal students (ones I'll always remember).

*I've decided to take part in תיקון עולם (tikkun olam--Hebrew for 'repairing the world'). Over the summer I'll be volunteering at the Baytree Centre for women and girls. While the Young People's Activities (Ages 14-19) run for four weeks, I'm taking part in two; one week for Photography and one for Journalism. Though my search for jobs will probably be ongoing, I'm really excited to be doing something good for the community. I miss social action. I've been away from it for far too long. Adam and I both agreed, earlier this year, that we needed to get back into social action; this is my opportunity to do just that. If you're interested in finding out more about this programme, you can go to http://www.baytreecentre.org/index.html

* On a lighter note, tickets for the Royal Albert Hall came the other day. We'll be seeing Lord of The Rings performed by the London Symphony Orchestra on my birthday (what an awesome birthday gift, eh?). And no, I don't know how many holes it takes to fill The Royal Albert Hall (that statement is primarily targeted towards my father who never fails to ask me that question :)).

*Finishing the year teaching The Gothic to my year 12/13s has rekindled my love for Gothic novels. I think over the summer I'm going to sink my teeth into Mysteries of Udolpho and The Monk. Come to think of it, I have tons of books I need to read this summer. And I can. Because I will not have anything else to plan. I'll be plan-free for the first time in three years (counting my student teaching). Wow, that feels so odd.

*Must be off. My summer plans also include updating this thing far more often than I have in the past few months (and running more, and taking more photography, and writing more poetry...)

Long time no write...

2010-06-26T04:14:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I last properly posted. It's all been very crazy around here, what with trying to figure out a new job, how I'm going to move my stuff from MK to London, photography related items and over all work stuffs.

My job hunt has been the main issue of contention for me, as of late. I apply to two or three a day, but I've heard neither yey nor ney as of yet. It's frustrating. Some people say I should continue to look in the area of teaching, but I feel as though if I don't take a step back from it, I'll loose the passion all together. Besides, only being 23 leaves me open for a great many career options (and not just in the London area). While Dubai has had to take the back burner (for family reasons), Adam and I have started looking in Mumbai. To live in India for two years would be incredible, not to mention we'd eat like kings (Indian food for three meals a day = culinary heaven). I suppose I could say (in the most cliche way possible) that the world is, indeed, our oyster. I only hope I find the pearl soon; otherwise, I'm going to find myself with a free (though unwanted) plane ticket back to the US.

The photography exhibition turned out great. After my momentary mini-meltdown after almost everyone had cancelled 10 minutes before it was intended on starting, I ended up having 15 people in total (more than I originally thought I would have). It was great to see Yvonne, who I hadn't caught up with for over a year (she even purchased a photo--my first sale!). Having my pictures in that Pub means that Notting Hill like folk will be going in and out. My prices are incredibly reasonable (for the reason that I'm new to the photography world and cannot justify charging outlandish prices) which hopefully means they'll be willing to make a few purchases. I'll keep everyone updated on the progress of this through photos on facebook, here, and my new website that Qasim put together http://www.ashleybess.co.uk/

I must head off. Currently at Jackie and Tony's for Jackie's birthday. It's great to see them (especially in Manchester--what a city!).

Change of date!

2010-06-05T03:54:00.000-07:00

Hi all--an update for those of you who do not have facebook--my photography opening has been changed to the 19th of June. I figured that most of you would be watching the UK vs US world cup game (rooting for the US, of course... ;) ) that night.

Looking forward to seeing you all there :)

New Jersey Success Story?! I think so!

2010-05-30T12:40:00.001-07:00

Alright kids, some big news to share. I've been given the go ahead of hanging and selling my photography in one of the nicer pubs in Notting Hill. Those of you who do NOT have facebook and are living in the London area, please come to the opening on the 12 of June 2010. Details are as follows:

Where: The Academy 7, Princedale Rd, Holland Park, London, W11 4NP

When: 12 June 2010 6pm until close

Why: My first photography opening. Come shmooz, drink, eat, and enjoy a night of photography

Price: Free to get in. Average price for food and drinks

Website: http://www.beerintheevening.com/pubs/s/17/17682/Academy/Holland_Park

You can contact me on my mobile or at info@ashleybess.co.uk for more information regarding the opening.

Looking forward to seeing you all there! :)

Epic win :)

2010-05-10T13:57:00.000-07:00

*I realised today I haven't posted in almost a month. Work has been, for the lack of a better term, nightmarish, for the past week in a half. Bogged down with work, I've found very little time to write or update. I have two more books to mark, but I figure I might as well take a break and update those of you who still follow this (almost two years and going...).

*A huge change from last week, I started this week with some fantastic news. One of the pubs in Notting Hill is considering the idea of allowing me to put up my photography for sale. I've already met with the manager, he's interested in taking me on, and just needs to run it by the owner. I never though I'd be able to make money from a hobby. Either way, I'm excited. I've had some suggestions that it would be more profitable if I were to actually start up a proper website, rather than just my Flickr account. Luckily, I have a friend to help me out with this (I get the domain for free, which is a huge help as well) so I'm well on my way to possibly starting a serious side project! I'll post the website name/URL here once it's up and running.

*Exactly two months from next Tuesday I'll be fully moved out of Milton Keynes and into Notting Hill with Adam. It's been a fabulous year living on my own and getting acclimated to the 'real world' (that's not to say that living in the house last year wasn't 'real life'--though it was certainly different, to say the least) and all the responsibilities, which come with it. However, given the opportunity to move in with Adam, and to Notting Hill for that matter, is far more attractive of an option to pass up.

*With that said, still no job sorted for next year, but I have a few pokers in the fire and I'll keep you posted if anything comes my way.

This was the trip that doesn't end...

2010-04-26T14:39:00.001-07:00

And so I'm back in the UK. Arrived last Friday and have pretty much recovered from my jet lag. First day back at work was exceptionally difficult, what with my early Monday rise from London, meetings and moderating, I felt dead after 11 hours of work.

Not much of an inkling to write tonight. Pictures up on flickr. Enjoy!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lifelessordinary7/

Update of flights and poetry blog...

2010-04-20T20:10:00.001-07:00

First and foremost, I've managed to get a flight out of Philly on Thursday and arrive in Heathrow on Friday! I cannot begin to express how excited I am to be going back. WIth this said, I'm so glad I got to see everyone I wanted to (this was certainly a blessing in disguise).

Secondly, being stranded has sparked a momentary wave of creativity. Poetry blog is updated: http://lovenotwisely7.wordpress.com/
Enjoy!

Day 6-13...

2010-04-19T18:55:00.000-07:00

As if the saying 'what can happen, will happen' couldn't hold more true than it did today. Damn you Murphy, whom ever you were!

My flight out of Philadelphia, for tomorrow, has once again been cancelled. The earliest flight? 27 of April, getting me into Heathrow on the 28th. This has just reached a new level of completely obscene. Not only now are my students going without a teacher for almost TWO WEEKS, but it will be nearly a month that I don't see Adam. I'm going out of my mind to be completely honest.

So to keep myself sane, I'm taking a day in NYC to take photos, get a bit of writing accomplished, maybe visit a museum or two, and then heading to Philly on Wednesday morning until about Friday morning where I'll be coming BACK to Baltimore for a second run.

I feel a bit in limbo right now. I'm not without a job, but I can't do anything FOR my job. It's not as though I need to look for a job, but my funds are going to start dwindling very quickly. I have friends and family here, but I'm also missing Adam horribly and my friends back in the UK. I have so much that I can see and do here, but all I want to be is in the UK getting on with my life. Such a torn feeling...

Day 5 of Epic Volcanic Disruption of Epic Proportions...

2010-04-18T20:24:00.000-07:00

I'm entering into day five of being unable to return back to the UK. As most of you have heard (unless you've been living under a rock for the past four days...), a volcano erupted in Iceland, late Wednesday, grounding thousands of flights in and out of the UK/EU. My flight happened to be one of the first flights cancelled this past Thursday, but was luckily re-booked for this Tuesday. With this said, there is no guarantee that BA will give the flight the go ahead to fly; I could still be in the US come the end of the week.
Everyone keeps telling me that 'this is completely out of your control'; however, I still feel a sense of anxiousness and (slight) guilt at the idea that my students will be without an English teacher for anywhere from 2 to 5 days (depending on my Tuesday flight status). The fact that my older students have exams coming up intensifies my anxiousness and guilt ten fold. With this said, I'm thinking this may be the perfect time to try out the strength of Walton High's computer technology. If we could, somehow, connect to Skype, then I would be able to at least teach my exam classes during the days I miss. Not only would this be beneficial for the students, but perhaps would be a step forward with the use of interactive technology in the classroom.
Funnily, the more I reflect on being 'stranded' (if that is what one would call it), the more I realise how much of my life primarily resides in the UK. My apartment and belongings are all there. My boyfriend is there. A very positive realisation indeed. It shows I've really acclimated myself to living in England; not only that, but I still retain the same genuine enjoyment of living overseas. A seriously reassuring tid bit, indeed.
And so I wait until tomorrow to find out the next piece of news, which will lead me to (hopefully) returning home once again. In the mean time, I've been so happy to see everyone whom, had this blasted volcano not gone off, I would not have seen due to time constraints. See, even volcanic ash can have a silver lining...

Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

2010-04-12T18:27:00.000-07:00

Funerals always make me think.

I don't like this first sentence. It's too short. Too simple for the topic of this post. However, it's the truth and sometimes, it's best to just say things as they are.

I've not been to many in my life time, thank God, but of the ones I've attended, I always end up following a long and in depth string of thoughts; sometimes about life itself, other times about the people whom surround me. Death is never an easy concept to cope with and perhaps this is my 'coping mechanism'. I suppose it's better than resorting to self-destructiveness such as over drinking, emotionally shutting down, denial or any of the other devices people tend to fall back upon at the loss of a loved one.

Today was Lori's father's funeral. Out on Long Island in a Jewish cemetery on, what one may ironically call 'a beautiful day', we all stood around, paying our last respects to a man known as a loving husband, father, uncle, and brother. Howie had suffered from Alzheimer's for many years, the past 5 months being the worst. As I looked at the coffin in the ground, I found myself thinking in cliches: He's in a better place. At least he's not suffering. We'll remember him as he was over a year ago, not how he has been for the better part of a year. All of which were certainly true. Elegies were read by his three children, tears were shed and prayers were recited. Drifting in and out of the main service, I found myself contemplating the rabbi; a seemingly odd thing to think about, no doubt. Here was a man who has seen, one can assume, as many deaths as he has births, and I began to wonder: how is it he separates his own emotion from the immense emotion that joins, hand in hand, with death? At one time in my life, I intended on joining the rabbanit; since then, my plans have changed. However, thinking back to my preconceived notion of the profession, I don't think I ever once took into consideration the immense emotional burden (or perhaps that is not the appropriate phrase word to use) that came with the job. While I was ready to give advice where needed, I never once thought what would happen when, eventually, someone would pass away. The need to separate myself, my emotions (and, as most of you know, I am a rather emotional person to start with), to ensure I was providing the support needed for the ailing families of the lost. Today, I wondered how this man did just that. How can anyone separate themselves, emotionally, from death, especially when you are around it so often? Is it something that you must learn, as doctors, policemen, and firefighters must do in order to effectively carry out their jobs? Or is it something that comes naturally? Something that separates those same individuals from the rest of us? I certainly do not have the answer to this question, but it's something to ponder.

Quickly quickly (part II)

2010-04-08T12:29:00.000-07:00

Change of plans (yet again):

8pm. Slainte in Fells. My cell number is the same as last time (I got to keep it yay). If you still need it again (because we will probably move on from there), send me a message.

Hope to see someone of you Saturday!

Quickly quickly!

2010-04-07T12:21:00.001-07:00

Just a quick update ...

...Saturday plans have changed for those of you who are looking to join in on the festivities. Gin Mill in Canton at 8pm for drinks. We may move about after a few--this being the case, let me know if you're interested in attending (if you haven't already done so) so I can give you my new number (the old cell phone from the last few visits was stolen--hence why I've been unreachable to most these past few days).

Anyway, thoroughly looking forward to seeing everyone! (Though my time in Philly has been extremely enjoyable!!!).

'Roll away your stone I'll roll away mine...'

2010-04-05T05:00:00.000-07:00

*So I'm home. I know that some of you may have not known that I was coming back to the States for a while, but my reason for not saying anything on here was so that I could surprise my mother; and may I just say, she was quite surprised :) I decided that, because I may not have my passport/work permit sorted come the summer time, I would need to find another time to come home to see friends and family. With that said, this trip is geared more towards family as I will be home in October for the Rosenfielder/Schapiro wedding, so my time in Baltimore will consist only of Saturday to Sunday. Anyone wishing to get together, I'll be heading to Canton/Fells Point Saturday night for some drinks (nothing too crazy--just a way to catch up with everyone). Let me know if you want to meet up (I'll take your number and let you know where we end up).

*I'm taking this time home to relax, catch up with some much needed reading/running, and applying for jobs. I've already applied for one this morning at the International School of Choueifat in Bahrain. They are offering such a fantastic deal to teach such fantastic students in a cultured, unique and exciting environment, how could I do anything but apply? If I were to get this, I would be able to save up enough money to pay my way through grad school and not have loans to worry about--how amazing?

*Over the weekend I was able to celebrate (to an extent as it had to be cut short due to having to come home quicker than expected) Easter with Adam's family. It was more family time than it was religious. The meal on Friday was great; Adam's family is wonderful (I have a few pictures that I will post when I get back to the US). We also ended up seeing a more modern version of The Canterbury Tales in Leeds, which was so well done. I've never seen a group of actors so talented in my life! Not to mention, half the time you were rolling in isles or had your mouth open from disbelief that they had said or dome one thing or another. Over all, I'd highly recommend anyone go and see this (if you happen to be in the Leeds/England area some point soon).

*It's 77 degrees here right now so I am going to take full advantage of this and go for a run. Oh how I've missed the sunshine and warmth--maybe Bahrain will be a nice change of scenery, eh?

Newest Blog

2010-03-24T13:35:00.000-07:00

Hello all.

A quick update.

I've decided that, after the disappointment that was Oxford, I am going to start taking my writing a bit more seriously. I've created a new blog devoted to my writing, in hopes to push myself to improve my ability.

http://lovenotwisely7.wordpress.com/

At this point in time, my poetry is a far cry from wonderful; however, even the greats needed to start somewhere and I figured that what better time to start than now.

Please visit and enjoy!

Thanks!

-Ashley

Rolling with the punches...

2010-03-22T15:14:00.000-07:00

For those of you whom do not have Facebook, I received my letter from Oxford today informing me that I was not accepted into their programme.

For much of today I was extremely upset; however, with much encouragement from a variety of friends and family (thank you again everyone), I'm finding myself already feeling better about the situation. I suppose when one doors closes, another one opens. As cliche as that sounds, it's so very true. Thinking back to being rejected from Northeastern, that landed me at Towson, eventually leading me to the Towson Study abroad programme ( one of the many positive things), finally landing here in the UK. No doubt my experience at Northeastern may have been completely different, altering my experience after university.

Anyway, tomorrow is a new day and a new outlook at that.

I'm too tired to write anything else this evening...more in a few days.

God Bless you, Dylan Moran.

2010-03-18T12:18:00.001-07:00

Oxford makes their decision tomorrow.

Right. Breathe.

For the next 4 days or so--or until I receive notice--I may be something of a nervous reck. Yes, this is completely out of my hands, but the thought that someone currently has my future resting on the surface of their mahogany desk, in some small upstairs office-like closet, in a building that probably dates back to Chaucer, makes me feel the slightest bit uneasy.

Let's put things into prospective.

Being accepted to Oxford could lead to the following:

Becoming one step closer to becoming a university professor.

Publishing my first piece of writing.

Networking with some of biggest names in publishing.

Coming out with a resume that may look like it's on steroids (metaphorically speaking).

And yet, being rejected could lead to the following:

Looking to other schools in hopes to complete a Masters in Writing/Literature.

Traveling with Adam to India to do some volunteer work/teach English.

Moving back to the US (NYC) sooner than expected.

Saving a bit more money to go towards more traveling.

All of these seem like viable possibilities--none of which are less than the others. Either way, in this situation, I think I win. Yes, I will be relatively disappointed if I do not get this; but let's be truthful here; who wouldn't be?

Moving away from Oxford for a while, I've been a bit homesick for a the past few weeks or so. I'm not quite sure what it is. Perhaps it's the fact that I've been listening to specific music that reminds me of home. Perhaps it's looking at pictures from University that makes me wish I was back in Baltimore, even just for a weekend. Or perhaps, with the coming of Spring and Summer brings back certain smells, which bring me back to certain places and times, reminding me that this will be the first summer NOT spent in the US. Luckily, I know that this pang I'm feeling will pass. I'm happy to say that, when I'm in Notting Hill/London, I don't feel it nearly as much (if at all), as I do here in Milton Keynes. I suppose that's a good sign as well.

'I'm not done with my travels, so lets run, lets run, lets run...'

2010-03-08T11:55:00.000-08:00

A real quick update...

...for those of you whom I haven't spoken to, I finished yesterday's half marathon in 2 hours and 12 minutes; a whopping 5 minutes faster than last year. Running with another person certainly helped, as did not having stomach cramps and resisting walking at all costs. Sarah was my saving grace at times as she certainly kept me going during the painful 9 and 11 mile marks. Well done Sarah!

There are quite a few pictures up. My favourite happens to be my finishing picture caught on film. Take a look! This is, indeed, the look of pain (the last mile and a half was immensely painful). Regardless, I managed to sprint to the very finish! My next will be in July and I'm looking to cut my time down by 2 minutes. Fingers crossed.

' 'Cuz I've still got miles to go...'

2010-03-04T11:26:00.000-08:00

A very quick post...

Milton Keynes Half-marathon this weekend. Very excited at the prospect of finishing in under 2 hour especially considering the people I'm running with and their incredible endurance levels (it'll be good to have a running group so we can keep one another going--or rather so that they can keep me going). Looking forward to that same feeling I felt when I finished last year--only this time, it'll be almost 20 minutes sooner and Adam will be running along side with me, rather than standing out in the pouring rain (like the awesome boyfriend that he is) waiting for me to finish. Not much else to say. More to come after Sunday...

'I'm a million different people from one day to the next...'

2010-02-18T01:56:00.000-08:00

I have a bit more time now to update this and give an overview of our trip to Istanbul.

First and foremost, if you ever want to go on a trip where your main purpose is eating, I highly suggest Istanbul. Turkish food, actual Turkish food, not just some kebab place found in West London, is the best I've ever tasted; it even trumps that of the Cafes of Paris and the hole in the wall Pizza places in Rome. LonelyPlanet called it a 'gastronomical orgasm' and I fully stand by that. The mezze plates were always fresh, and you never had the same item more than once; I never knew there were that many types of humous! The lamb was flavourful. The coffee was a little bit of sweetened heaven; that is, if heaven were to have an IV drip filled with caffeine jabbed into its arm. The baklavah was flakier and sweeter than I have ever tasted (sorry Grandma, I think this may be the one and only time when I will EVER say I found something you make, made better). All in all, the food was well worth the amount of money we probably spent (and even that didn't even come CLOSE to compare to Rome and Paris).

Moving on to the actual sights in Istanbul. If you ever wondered what it was like, imagine taking Oxford Street or Madison Ave. and mashing it together with images from '1,000 Arabian Nights' or Disney's 'Aladin'. One moment you are walking down a cobble stone street with shops ranging from Monsoon and The Gap and the next thing you know you're hearing the Call To Prayer from the surrounding Mosques as you enter into one of the many side street bazaars and are being pulled in every direction to buy a carpet or a puter Turkish coffee maker. Women in Hijab and full length burkas juxtapose women carrying Louis Vuitton purses and wearing Burberry jackets. Everywhere you go has a different smell: spices, onions, honey, incense, petrol, shit--sometimes mixed and sometimes completely separate. Listening to the shouts from the bazaars drown out the noise from jackhammers coming from the adjacent buildings. The sound of continual progress and growth. The people could not be more hospitable and willing to bend over backwards to ensure you are comfortable and have what you need. That is, until you meet a cab driver who realises he has two obvious foreigners in his back seat who have no idea where they are in the city; our second cab ride, costing us 25 TL should have only been 10 TL max. With that said, everyone needs to make a living and the exchange rate was in our favour.

All in all Adam and I had a fabulous time. It was a great way to spend our one year, Valentines Day weekend and the start to my half term. We saw most of the main sights: Blue Masque, Aya Sophie, Grand Bazaar, Spice Bazaar, Asia (from the European side), and a few other places that I can't remember off the top of my head. I would highly recommend this trip to anyone who is looking for a slightly different experience to that of Western Europe.

Tesekkür Ederim!

2010-02-15T13:37:00.000-08:00

I've returned from a weekend of phenomenal sights, sounds, smells, and tastes as a result of the collide of Eastern and Western culture. Istanbul was an experience of a life time, yet three days was not nearly enough. Pictures will be posted both on Facebook and my new 'photo blog':

www.flicker.com/lifelessordinary7

Enjoy :)

'Scene after scene passes by my life...'

2010-02-04T15:32:00.000-08:00

I know it's very unlike me (as of lately) to post more than once in a week, but I thought I'd just take this time to let all of you know that I've decided to put together an online photo album. Unlike the typical facebook photo albums, which contain anything from a night out to my travels abroad, this particular Flickr account will ONLY contain photos that I have taken whilst traveling. To narrow it down even further, I'll probably only post a few from each trip; photos I really have put a great deal of effort into, not only taking, but editing as well (and by editing, I mean fiddling around with iPhoto...). This will also be a nice way for those of you out there, who don't have facebook, to actually SEE what I'm getting up to these days here in good 'ol England (unfortunately, my blog is updated far less than I would like...)

My account is: www.flickr.com/lifelessordinary7

If anyone has any problems with this address, could you please let me know so I can fix it as soon as possible!

I hope you enjoy :)

Holy toledo, Batman!

2010-02-02T12:38:00.000-08:00

Hi all! Just a quick update seeing as I should be marking and it's already 8:30...

*First, my application for Oxford went out. Received a confirmation a week later (today) saying that they received everything and my application is the process of being reviewed. Their decision date is the 19 of March...so until then, I'm putting this out of my mind and focusing on other aspects such as...

*I'M GOING TO ISTANBUL IN A WEEK FOR OUR ONE YEAR/VALENTINES DAY WEEKEND/HALF TERM! I've never been to that part of the world before so my excitement level is through the roof at the moment. The sights, the food, the sounds, the food, the haggling in the streets, and did I mention the food? If there's one thing I love, it's Turkish Food--compliments of my grandparents taking me to this incredible Turkish restaurant in Knightsbridge. The best part, we've only spent 150 pounds each on round trip tickets, and two nights in a four star hotel (highly rated by Tripadvisor.com and we all know their word is scripture...).

*5 months = Notting Hill

*Book of Eli was an interestingly unsettling film; I can only assume that was the intention of the director thus making it successful? I still need to see Avitar and Sherlock Holmes (Jude Law = guilty pleasure. I feel so...ashamed. The Road and one other film that Adam suggested (that I can't remember off the top of my head. It's a French film so we all know there will be all of two people in the theatre) both sound really good as well. Oh and Alice in Wonderland...I can't believe it's taken them this long to decide to remake the film.

*Guitar lessons are going well. Jimmy Eat World 'The Middle' is finished and I'm moving onto 'Boulevard of Broken Dreams' by Green Day as my next assignment. Rock on. *flashes rock fingers and attempts crap version of Gene Simons impression*

*MK Half Marathon in one month exactly. Status: No where NEAR ready for it. Then again, I think I was this bad this time last year so I should be okay...fingers crossed.

'So this is the new year...'

2010-01-13T13:20:00.000-08:00

The past week or so the UK has been in a complete state of frenzy; SNOW! Much like the southern part of the US, the UK is not equipped with the proper equipment to deal with anything over 1/2 an inch of the white stuff. Now, as amusing as this is for me to sit back and watch, it still makes life incredibly difficult, not only for those in cars, but those of us who do most of our traveling by foot. For those in vehicles, reckless driving, poorly salted and plowed (if you even want to call it that) side roads, lack of snow tires and Anti-lock breaks leaves for very dangerous traveling. And for those of us who find other means to move from point A to point B, a serious lack of salting on the RedWays (what they call sidewalks here in the land of Milton Keynes) leaves room for falling on our bums, backs, wrists, and/or sides. What should be an easy 5 minute walk to school took me 10 minutes today as I went slipping and sliding up (or in this case, back down as it seemed to be two steps forward one slide back) the hill that leads to school from my apartment. Schools have also closed last Wednesday and Thursday. It's amazing how teachers revert back to days of being in school; we were looking forward to a snow day as much as the students (if not to simply play out in the snow, then to certainly catch up on any work we may have fallen behind/not accomplished over the holiday the week prior). I can only imagine the incredible material British Comedians are getting from these past two weeks! To be honest, looking at last year and comparing it this year, it seems as though it's getting worse. One can only hope that the country will decide to be a bit more prepared for this come the 2010/2011 snow season.

Okay rant about snow is over...

...Oxford application is complete, with the exception of my Towson transcript (which is currently in transit); this is all too exciting!

Next month is Adam's and my one year! I can't believe how quickly the past year has flown by. How wonderful it truly has been these past 12 (almost) months. I believe we're heading to a resort type place that his parents got for us as a Christmas/Channukah present (how nice!). Should be a good way to start my February break (though, to be honest, the amount of work I have to do before that is unbelievable--to the point I want to cry a bit...).

Alright, I've been procrastinating on marking my three year 10 books that I took home with me this evening (I just find it difficult to actually do work outside of school--after a full teaching day--these days...).

'A disco ball is just hanging by a thread'

2010-01-05T14:04:00.001-08:00

*Today was a Murphy's Law day; what ever COULD happen, DID happen. To begin my day, I found myself half way through a shower only to find that my hot water stopped working. Being my 'green' self, I try to save energy by only turning on the heat when I need it; with this said, I was not in need of it this morning, which left me frantically, and freezing, attempting to figure out why in God's name I could not get the hot water heater to work all the while trying to rinse the conditioner out of my hair with the tea kettle (I assure you, it was quite a sight). After semi-fixing the situation, I managed to get myself to school (still with semi conditioned hair and a dry face from not being able to properly wash my soap off--needless to say, I felt gross for most of the day...). I managed to reach my property manager who assured me that someone would be by in the afternoon. Much to my surprise, he was (the system isn't entirely flawed after all). Moments later, we figured out that it was partially due to the boiler switch having gone off in the circuit breaker box; I felt rather foolish as I had forgotten WHERE the box was in the first place, and second, hadn't thought about doing that to begin with. The guy then figured out that, while my heater was working properly, my pipe under my tub, the one that heats up my water in my electric shower, had frozen solid due to leaving my heater off the entire time I was in the US. Once again, attempting to save money and be green only made more problems for me. Fine. That was, more or less, fixed (I'm taking baths until the pipe de-thaws). I then ran off, back to school, to get a bit more work done and take my first guitar lesson (yes, I'm actually taking proper guitar lessons, which was actually quite informative. Only problem was that the guy looked like he was younger than me, which was a bit odd. Other than that, he really knew what he was doing!). Upon leaving the school, I rummaged through my purse to find my keys, only to find I had left them in my house. Without a spare to let me into my apartment. After almost having a complete breakdown in the hallway of my school, I pulled myself together and asked the people behind the desk what to do. We decided to look up emergency locksmiths; they only charged 80 pounds...). Seeing as it's -3 C, I had no choice but to cough up the money and pay for a locksmith.

Now, still feeling rather gross, 80 pounds shorter, and rather stressed, I'm looking out my window, fingers crossed, as the snow falls steadily on the Milton Keynes area. It seems as though the salt shortage we have here in the UK may pay off for those of us who do not wish to head to work tomorrow; I don't believe teachers ever fully grow out of that 'excitement' they felt, while in school, about a potential snow day.

*Sigh* I didn't even get to go to indoor this evening to relieve stress and irritation at what has happened over the course of 15 hours. Not to mention Adam is 30 minutes away by train and the snow is headed his way. The idea of not being able to see him this weekend is just not something I want to think about right now. As I said in my last post, not seeing him for two and a half weeks was far too much; another two weeks will not, in short, make me very happy.

In better news, my application is all but one reference before I send it off for review. I'm beyond excited at the thought of even having a shot at this program.

2010 = Notting Hill, Oxford and true happiness

2010-01-02T16:33:00.000-08:00

First and foremost, happy 2010 to all!

Another trip back home has once again come and gone in the blink of an eye. It's funny how much of a set schedule I have put in place during my visits: Airport. Philly. NJ/NY. Maryland. Philly. Airport. Repeat. Travel this time around wasn't too bad, especially seeing as I was traveling during the holiday season (with an added terrorist attack or two thrown in there for some extra fun security measures).

It was wonderful to see family; the older I get, the more I appreciate the time spent with them.

My trip to Maryland seemed different this time around. Come to think of it, my trip to Maryland is never the same seeing as we're all in that stage of life where we're making drastic changes. Engagements, moving into new apartments, starting new jobs, looking to start families, it's all rather exciting! I was able to help out a bit more with the Rosenfelder/Schapiro wedding; running around Bed Bath and Beyond with that scanner machine was awesome. Spending time with Anny and Chris, as always, was a blast. I feel like going there is a vacation within itself; even if Anny and I do attract characters every time we go out in public. A special thanks to Anny for letting me use her bridesmaids dress for October; it's simply beautiful! Sarah and I, as always, were able to find something to get up to (even if our adventures this time around weren't as extended as they normally are). New Years was fun, seeing Rebecca and DJ as well, and playing Kings and Moose for the first time since graduating from Towson (I really felt old writing that statement). There were shorter visits thrown in there as well. Mickey, Rella, and Autumn: It was fabulous seeing you all! I hope, next time around, we can spend a bit more time together.

And while I will miss everyone terribly (as I always do when ever I return), I'm even more excited to head back to the UK; not seeing Adam, for over two weeks, has been more difficult than I thought it would be (I never thought I could miss a person so much in such a short period of time). Even though we only get to see one another on the weekends, not being in the same country makes time apart seem much longer.

My battery just informed me that it's about to die so I must head off and make this short. Thanks for a great visit to both family and friends; I'll put pictures up on facebook in a day or so.

Home is where the is...

2009-12-26T21:44:00.000-08:00

I've been in Mahwah for the past four days now. It's incredible how much can come streaming back in 93 hours; or, in this case, 24. I've been dodging seeing as many people in this town as possible. Luckily, much of my time has been spent with meeting up with family and my three friends whom I actually have left in this area. Needless to say, I've been quite lucky not to run into people I would rather stay far away from; that is, until this evening. Meeting Erin at Bradey's was, undoubtedly, the worst idea for dodging dodgy characters we knew back in high school. Next time I meet up with her, it should be somewhere more desecrate (or at least not in the heart of Ramsey). It's amazing how people can change from high school; some for the worst, some for the best, and some who simply do not change at all. In the case, of most individuals (not all, though most) I ran into this evening, not much has changed. Yet, I find that I am guilty of changing, and perhaps not for the best either. While I have completed a four year degree in English and Secondary Education, live in ENgland full time teaching at an 'outstanding school' (according to OFSTED), have a wonderful boyfriend, and have traveled more than most adults who live in the in the continental USA, I found myself this evening more driven to gloat at any individual who was rude to me during high school; my most insecure and difficult years. I'm not sure if that makes me worse or better than the people I ran into who have not moved out of Mahwah, but it certainly does not impress me. In fact, I'm a bit embarrassed by my behaviour; in reality, I'm not stuck up, nor am I full of myself (see two posts ago regarding my doubt about making it into the Oxford program); however, I find that the town I grew up in, the place that drew out the worst in me almost 7 years ago, brings out a part of me that I, personally, would be repulsed by, if I were to meet me in public. Then again, I wonder whether or not this happens to a lot of people who had a negative experience in their own home town. I wonder if there are still adults, much older than I, who find they fall into the same pattern, not because they are insecure with what they are, but because they know that some people never change and a defense is required to escape embarrassment. And then, perhaps I'm being too judgmental of myself, and there is a chance I was not nearly as bad as I saw myself tonight; we are, after all, our own worst enemy's, at times.

Moving on...

I've written more of my CS Williams story to submit to the Oxford program; I'm hoping that they look at my poetry piece as I feel far more secure about that than I do my prose. Fingers crossed :)

It was so good speaking to you this evening. I know that things went screwy (for the lack of a better term) back in April, but I always enjoy reconnecting with old friends, even if just for a few minutes. I understand what you had to do; in fact, I admire it. I would do the same thing if I were in your position, simply to save what I have. Perhaps, one day, we can resume a friendship. For now, best of luck and happy new year :)

Tomorrow I'm in Maryland until the 1st. If any of you lovely people want to get in contact me my new number is 551 804 8580. I'm a bit tight on a schedule, but please feel free to contact me, even if it's just to chat for a bit :). Seeing everyone is difficult, but I try to make time for as many people as possible.

Night all!

Merry Christmas and happy Chinese food day!

2009-12-24T14:57:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is a bit hectic so I thought I'd post this tonight:

A very warm Merry/Happy (depending on what country you're reading this from) Christmas to those who are celebrating today and tomorrow (a special Happy Christmas to The Lane family :) ).

To those who are celebrating the 25th of December with a movie and Chinese food, also enjoy yourselves!

My next post will be the last of the year, most likely reflecting on 2009 (par usual to my New Years posts...)

Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

2009-12-22T17:34:00.000-08:00

*Nothing new to really write at the moment. Currently in Philadelphia and have been since Friday. It's been a great time here visiting my mom and grandparents. Tomorrow I head up to Jersey to visit my father and Lori along with Wife and Krause. Then heading back DOWN to Maryland from the 27-1st of December (somewhere between Columbia and Baltimore--catch me if you can kids...).

*Meanwhile, I've been getting my act together and gathering everything I need to apply for this Oxford program by the 22nd of January. References. Check. Application. Almost completed. Personal Statement. Half way done. 25 pound fee. Waiting for pay day. Woop Woop! I'm on my way...to possibly/most definitely being rejected; but hey, at least I can say I tried (and if I get in I may flip metaphorically or literally, I haven't decided quite yet).

*I'm realising how hard it is to spend long periods of time apart from certain people you usually see every 4 days...not fair. With that said, Skype is a wonderful thing :D

*Started running again since I had my surgery almost three weeks ago! Feels good to be up and at it once more (I feel revitalized--well as much as one can regardless of jet lag...)

I won't let you choke, on the noose around your neck...

2009-12-14T10:17:00.000-08:00

*A week later, my face has gone down significantly and I'm back at work :) . I managed to track my progress of recovery via pictures; it was amazing to see how much the swelling would go down in the course of one day :) Now I'm just trying to get passed the horrific bruising and random patches of swelling around my face and neck. Hopefully by the time I'm home on Friday evening it will have cleared.

*Adam and I exchanged presents this weekend; of course he outdid my presents by a long shot. I had a feeling this was going to happen, though I wasn't sure to what extent. I think next holiday I'm going to need to be a bit more imaginative. The hat he had been eyeing for quite a while (though I still am not entirely sold on the style all together), typical Chancery Lane umbrella (which can also double as an item to fend off tourists and bums on the street) to replace the sorrily broken pocket sized one he had just binned, black leather gloves that could easily be used to commit murders (hehe) and nifty beard trimmer/shaver kit were no match for what I was given: A signed copy of Richard Dawkin's new book, a random selection of my photography put into a bound book, the three seasons of Black Books, and an iPod (which is currently in the mail).

*Adam and I (being the closeted pretentious couple that we are) have decided to both go for this Oxford Creative Writing program. It only meets once a term for an extensive weekend and the program focuses on the three main creative writing mediums: Poetry, prose, and script writing. While I've never actually composed a play before, I have my C.S. Williams prose that is nearly well past words and plenty of poetry to send off. I had initially decided that I was not to attend any sort of graduate program next school year; however, with the amount of contact hours this particular program requires and a possible change in my money situation for next year, I may retract my previous decision and go ahead for the program part time.

*Friday I'm back in the States; very excited to see everyone! :)

This needs to be a shortened post as I have a few bits to mark before I head in the for the evening.

Winter wind littered London with lonely hearts..

2009-12-08T12:26:00.000-08:00

*I know I haven't updated this in a while; between my ridiculously slow internet connection and my incredibly hectic schedule, it's been cause for about a months absence. Regardless, I'll try to update you all on life during this post.

*First and foremost, I finally got that massive cyst I had in my face taken out yesterday at the dentist office. The most horrific experience of my life, what with the tugging, scraping, pulling and cutting of various parts of my facial/mouth cavities. The end result was this:

Scary eh? Well, either way, at least it's finished and I no longer need to worry. They've had to send it away for a biopsy, but that's just standard procedure, as I've been told by everyone.

*Last weekend I joined Adam and his family for The Lane gathering in Norfolk for their annual Christmas get together. At this point I met 17 of his closest aunts, uncles and cousins. What a fabulous group of people! I obviously come from a family with a great deal of life and quirks of our own; The Lane family certainly does not differ. And while the Klafters, Fleischhackers, and Levine's all have their own quirks, it's exactly that which makes them so wonderful! I wouldn't have it any other way. I immediately was made to feel welcome, which I know my family would have done (and has done in the past) for Adam, had he been in a similar situation. The area we stayed in was lovely; very festive and picturesque. I managed to snap quite a few good photos this past weekend. I'll post these on Facebook when I'm in an area with better internet signal.

*The weekend before that, Adam and I traveled up North to Manchester for an exciting Thanksgiving meal with Jackie and Tony. It was so nice to be with someone from home during this holiday season; everyone made me feel so welcome last year when I had our massive shindig; however, this year I felt it necessary to be with someone who understood what Thanksgiving is all about; being with your loved ones. And while Jackie and I could not be with our family and friends during this holiday, we were in the company of good friends (most of whom, for me, were new) and wonderful, loving boyfriends :) Again, photos will be posted in a few days or so.

*My newest music obsession is Mumford and Sons. Check out their newest songs 'Little Lion Man' and 'Winter Wind' which will surely be one of the top songs (according to Radio 1) for this holiday season. For those of you in the US, spread the word! This group needs to be heard over seas :)

*Home in one week and two days! So excited to see everyone! Remember: 18-23 in Philly; 23-27 in NJ/NY; 27-1 in MD! Let me know if oyu want to get together (if we haven't spoken already!)

*Off I go to bed. Lets see if I make it into work tomorrow. Fingers crossed the swelling goes down.

A little night music...

2009-11-16T12:11:00.000-08:00

*I currently have Classic FM blasting in the background, hence the anglicized version of my blog title (if I knew how to spell the German title I would, but I'm far too lazy at the present time to Google it). I've become accustomed to waking up in the morning and immediately turning on Classic FM; it's very soothing, especially directly before heading off to work. I suppose I've picked this up from years of wandering into my grandparents kitchen in the early morning, only to find my grandfather, an hour already into his day, drinking coffee, reading The Philadelphia Inquirer, with NPR (though this has changed as of a few years ago when my family renamed the station to 'National Palestinian Radio' instead of 'National Public Radio' due to their stance on the Israeli/Palestinian conflict--no surprise there are some in the family who stopped listening to NPR; a few of us who, wouldn't admit it out loud, still do listen to that station...) blasting in the background. Mozart, Strauss, Bach, Mendelssohn, Vivaldi, Wagner, and so many more danced through the kitchen, sometimes with great grander, and other times, with less intensity, never losing their beauty. To me, as a young girl, it all sounded relatively the same, and trying to remember who wrote what almost seemed like an unattainable task. However, to my grandfather, it as like remembering the alphabet; the only question that seemed to throw him for a loop, from time to time, was who was conducting the piece during that particular recording. At that point my grandmother and he would begin to argue (in more of an endearing way than anything) about who the conductor actually was. And from time to time he would quiz me about which instrument was playing during various times in each piece; even to this day I find I quiz myself to see if I can correctly identify each instrument. Following this my grandmother would start making her amazing wheat pancakes with real Maple Syrup.

It's amazing how many memories are recalled, not only smell, but sound as well. I must admit, I'm most certainly looking forward to going home for a few weeks.

Last weekend was great, what with having a very relaxing weekend spent in London. We spent Saturday faffing about in the morning and then heading to the Tate Modern. Can I just say that, if you don't go in there with an open mind, you will come out from most of it thinking 'what in the name of G-d was that?' At least that's how I felt coming out of many of the exhibits we saw. Regardless, it was nice to go to a gallery for the first time in a while. Following the Tate and a few drinks, we went to see 2012, which was a definite guilty pleasure movie. I highly recommend going to see if it you are looking for a brainless, but relatively exciting movie. A definite great way to spend 9 months!

'And it's a winding road...'

2009-11-05T12:13:00.000-08:00

*I know it's been about a month since I last updated, but it's been long nights at work followed by a week up north for half term. Next thing I knew we're almost into the second week of November; where time has been flying off to these past few months is beyond me.

*Half term was brilliant! Adam and I rented a car and headed up north to where he grew up followed by a two day stay in Newcastle and a few hours spent at the Harry Potter Castle (HP nerds, eat your heart out!). It was really cool seeing where Adam grew up--quite different to the suburban hell that is Mahwah. And while the the closest shop is only open a few hours a day, the rolling hills, endless sky, and abundance of fresh air (minus the occasional smell of cow poop) were all rather refreshing; it was like visiting Tornado Alley in the States, minus the rednecks, confederate flags, Dennis Quaid, Jodie Foster, and (of course) tornados. Not to mention, our five mile runs were easier than any run I've ever experienced. I don't think you could ask for a flatter surface.

Following our few days spent in Lincolnshire, we continued up north to Newcastle for two nights. After a hellish time getting into the city, being locked INTO a bloody car park (you'll need to ask me to explain the whole situation because I do not feel like typing it all out now), and then having to pay an arm and a leg for our parking (apparently the Jury's Inn in Newcastles doesn't have their own car park...), we finally made it up to the room. Following that joyous experience, we headed out for one heck of a session.

The next day we made our way up to Alwick (I think that's the correct name) Castle; the same castle that you see in the HP movies (they even show the visitors exactly where on the castle grounds Harry learned to fly). Aside from that, the scenery was gorgeous; something out of a painting. Following this we headed back to the hotel for a quiet evening out and headed back to MK/London the next day. All in all it was an enjoyable trip! Not to mention being able to spend time with Adam for more than two days a week was awesome as well. I have pictures that I will attempt to put on facebook (a few on here to give you a sneak peek) eventually.

*I know it's the 5th of November and I realise it is customary to shoot off fireworks, but must the kids around this area shoot them off every five minutes (and so close to houses for that matter?!)?? It's been driving me nuts now for about three hours. Not to mention I've had two people from the SAME charity knock on my door within the same hour asking for money; I realise that I live in a semi well off area, but I'm only a teacher! There is an actual reason for the saying 'you don't go into this profession for the money'. What a crazy night this has been.

*For all of those people who still read my blog: I am back in the States from the 18-2nd of December/January! PA: 18-23 ; NJ: 23-24 and 26-27 ; LI: 25 ; MD: 27-1. Let me know if you want to meet up! So excited to see everyone!

*Off I go to bed; I've been pulling 11 hour days as of late and I am exhausted. FUN FUN!

Fork in the road...

2009-10-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

With the stress of work at the moment, I think I'm becoming slightly jaded with how I'm viewing Westernized Education. There's a point when you realize that teaching is one of those occupations that can easily be classified as a 'thankless profession'. Day after day you stand up in front of a group of students who may or may not care to listen, or appreciate, what they have at hand, depending on their mood, or even the weather. You prepare these kinesthetic, visually aesthetic, song and dance type lessons, only to find a third of your students actually appreciate what you have done for them in that seemingly insignificant hour. Meanwhile, you have students in places like Ghana, Libya, Zimbabwe, just to name a few, who are happy simply to see one book to two students, rather than three or four, a chalk board with actual chalk, and a person who cares enough to stand up in front of them, day after day, and help them gain the most precious gift of all: an education.

Then again, I think there's a reason why most teachers choose to vote Democrat; it's a profession where you do not see immediate results, much like what the members of the Republican party often expect to see. Instead, education seems to be an occupation where the results of your hard work shines through 10 to 20 years down the line when, that once awkward pupil is now helping modern medicine branch off and find new ways to help those in impoverished countries, fighting in a court for the 'little guy', starting up a billion dollar cooperation that employs thousands of people during a time of an economic crisis, or even running a country.

As a side note, I think I officially found my favorite teaching quote a few weeks back: 'In teaching, you cannot see the fruit of a day's work. It is invisible and remains so, for maybe 20 years' - Jacques Barzun.

And yet, at 23, I question whether or not this is who I am. Am I experienced enough to ensure that the 'generation of tomorrow' is equipped today with the tools to properly run our country and world (it's a scary thought really...something that has, more than once, kept me up at night). Sometimes I look out the window of my classroom and think back to when I was in middle and high school. We had one day a year when people could follow around the Principal, VP, guidance counselors and a variety of other staff members. These students would dress up in suits and dresses, looking like shrunken adults, and get a taste of what it was like to run a school. Sometimes, that's what I feel like; a child playing dress-up for a day. What do I know outside of my degree and the ability to analyze a bunch of shriveled up old dead guys and gals (in all honesty, I love those shriveled up dead guys and gals...)?

Maybe, as said before, the stress of work is starting to get to me. But I still can't kick this nagging question in the back of my head: Who am I and where do I go from here?

Ah Pari...

2009-10-01T11:05:00.001-07:00

*My Paris trip finally arrived, though it seemed as though it would never happen. Last week was beyond long and mildly frustrating during certain points. Regardless, it all seemed to wash away once I was on the train heading into London. I arrived at Kings Cross about an hour two early so I had the opportunity to catch up on some reading. I decided it was in my best interest to leave all work at school.

We arrived in Paris, after being delayed for a good 30 minutes, around 10:30. At that point we were both rather exhausted. Queing for a good hour to get a taxing wasn't at all helpful. Finally, we got to our hotel. I was a bit apprehensive about our choice of places to stay as some of the ratings for our hotelon tripadvisor.com seemed to be rather scathing. In all honesty, I think those people who gave the grim reviews came to Paris to stay in their hotel rather than go out out and take in what the city has to offer. It certainly was a 4 start hotel (with the exception for the lobby, which really did look like something out of Dracula). By the time we checked in and put our luggage down we were both beyond hungry. Unfortunately, we were surrounded by upscale shops, which meant nothing was open at 1130pm on a Friday night (with the exception for Bars--they don't serve food after a certain hour so they were useless). After wondering for a good 20 minutes, we were flagged down by a guy who, at first glance, gave the impression that he could be a potential junkie. It turned out the guy was from Texas and on vacation for one of his friends weddings. He had decided to stopover in Paris for a few days to do a bit of sightseeing. Ironically enough, he was also trying to find food, but had been just as unsuccessful as us. So the three of us banded together and I managed to spot a dimly lit convenient store that sold over priced food and other such related things. I don't think a box of fresh rasberries and a chicken sandwich ever tasted so good together.

The next day we walked along the Sien. Adam was such a trooper--Paris in the Autumn is so incredibly lovely and seeing as I have a new camera, I now have enough pictures to cover my entire apartment. We enjoyed a lovely lunch at a small cafe near the Lourve, were scammed by a homeless person who claimed to have found a guys wedding band (he got a euro out of us, not too bad really), walked through the little island that Notre Damn is located on, watched some street performers, and then headed back to our hotel. That night we ate in a restaurant that was so posh, I turned to Adam at one point during the meal and said 'I feel like an impostor.' Despite the fact that the price of the meal utterly made me cringe, it was worth every penny; the service was immaculate and the food was aesthetically pleasing (both to taste and sight). I have never eaten in a place as wonderful as that in my life--I feel almost guilty to have experienced a place like that at only 23.

The next day we met up with my cousin Aurelia and her fiance, Benjamin. It was so lovely to see them, and I'm so excited for their wedding in November. After lunch they took us around, showing us City Hall, Jarden de Plants, and Luxumbourg (sp?)--it was such a wonderful afternoon--I felt as though I was wading through some Hugo novel. After they left we made our way back to the hotel, packed up our belongings, and headed back to Guarde de Nord for our train out to London.

Over all it was a simply fantastic trip. I'm having trouble putting up my pictures on facebook, so bear with me, those who are eager to see them. Hopefully they'll be up by the weekend.

Time to get back to work. Planning and what not for tomorrow. Thank goodness it's Friday already!

'I'm thinking of what Sarah said...'

2009-09-21T22:33:00.000-07:00

*For all of you who know where the title comes from, don't worry, I'm not sitting in a hospital at the moment, watching a friend or loved one 'die', as Ben Gibberd sings about so melodically in 'What Sarah Said' from Death Cab For Cuties album 'Plans'. It is, however, a wonderful CD to wake up to after, what was, an incredibly long and stressful day yesterday and an even stranger dream from last night.

*Monday's are probably the worst at work for teachers. Not only are they met with students who simply do not want to be there based on the mere fact that it is Monday, but we also have meetings until 5pm every Monday. I'm not saying they're not useful, simply commenting on the fact that after arriving at work at 730, most teachers staying until about 6pm or later on Monday's, simply because we were unable to get work done between the hours of 3-5. Ouch. Last night I dragged myself home, made dinner, cleaned my kitchen, planned for my year 12 lesson today, spoke with Adam for an hour, and then dragged myself to bed, all by 930pm. I feel a bit like a child or an elderly woman, falling asleep at 930 in the evening. And yet, I suppose it's to be expected when you're working 11 hour days most of the week (that is what comes with being a teacher--I knew this going into the profession). Regardless, I still manage to have a life outside of school, what with frisbee, running, my wonderful boyfriend, and spending quality time with friends; I suppose when you're in this situation, you just have to. There's no room for 'I'm too tired' or 'I've had a long day' because, let's face it, everyone works, and everyone puts in fairly long hours as well (regardless of their occupation). Yes, there are times when I just simply collapse, and that's just how it is; however, I think that if I were to let the fact that I'm tired after work get in the way of me taking part in a variety of activites after work, I would have very little social life left. It's nice to know, a good year and a few months into teaching, that I've found my happy medium.

*This past weekend Adam and I ran our 5K with all the tree huggers around London (the charity was for planting trees in and around the London area--so I'm not kidding when I say 'tree huggers'). We did it in 30 minutes, but that was only because I had to stop and walk a bit--my stomach began cramping up and that pulled us behind. To think I could have done it in about 28 minutes--there is always next time! My next race is the half marathon in MK (though that's not until March). This year I'm planning on 2:10:00 instead of 2:17:00.

*Paris this weekend! Ever since I was taken to Paris by my grandparents back when I was a sophomore in college, I've always wanted to go with someone I loved (of course I love my grandparents! I'm talking about a significant other). This weekend is going to be simply wonderful; I can tell already. A lovely 4 star hotel, during a brisk autumn weekend, in the City of Love! It's almost too romantic that I'm feeling a bit nauseous ;) (Just kidding of course).

*I have a few pictures to put up here with my new camera from this past weekend. I think I'm going to start putting up pictures into an online photo album (only pictures that come out really well). And speaking of pictures, I am going to (hopefully) have a wonderful photo op this summer when I travel with Adam (and I believe a few other people) from England to Mongolia by car to raise money for people in Mongolia (clean water, better educational facilities/supplies, medicine, etc.). You can check it out here. I'm so incredibly excited!

Year 2.

2009-09-07T11:35:00.000-07:00

*Today was my first full day back at school. I couldn't help thinking about my first full day of teaching last year; looking back on the the scene, it was something out of a horror film. There was a moment where I knew I had officially lost control of my year 8 class and the temptation to run out of the room screaming was quite overpowering; a stark contrast to my classes today. I'm satisfied to say that I'm still here, one year later, still going strong. My ultimate challenge, or perhaps, challenges, begin(s) tomorrow, when I meet, for the first time, my year 12 students. A step above the lower school and two steps below university students, I'm worried I'm going in expecting far too much of them. Luckily, these students are the best of the best from year 11 last year, which will make my job slightly easier. As my next step will (hopefully) focus more on post 16, I've decided that my main focus, with regards to improving and moving forward with my teaching, will be on post 16 teaching skills. And finally, my biggest challenge, by far this year, will be my year 10s. Looking at my roster, I have some students from last year whom I know that, as early as day 1, I will need to 'lay down the law' for them with regards to deadlines, behavior in class, and becoming more responsible. They're not going to like me-- I can certainly tell you that right now; however, they're going to be thanking me when most, if not all, either meet or go beyond their targeted grade.

*I'm starting to get serious with my graduate applications. I've started my personal statement, contacted one of my two references, and decided on the piece of writing from undergraduate that I'd like to use. I'm nervous, excited, and anxious all at the same time. I feel as bit like I'm applying (again) for undergraduate; only this time, I have all of the credentials, and not some asinine standardized test holding me back from where I truly want to go (in hindsight, the SATs did force me to go to Towson; something that I actually am grateful for).

*Adam and I booked our hotel for Paris and we're set to go on the 25th of September. This place is so much of a steal it's practically ridiculous: 165 per person for two nights in a 'Deluxe Room' that has a terrace (and this is the kicker) looking out on the Eiffel Tower! The rooms are beautiful, the ratings were fantastic, and the location could not be any better! All I can say is Happy Birthday to the both of us :)

*Tree-Athalon on the 19th of September in London. 5k to raise money for planting trees in and around London. If you have any questions, would like to donate a pound to add to my 25 pounds, or just want to come watch on that Saturday, here's the link: http://www.tree-athlon.org/

Final thoughts on freedom...

2009-08-31T12:39:00.000-07:00

*The summer has certainly come and go much faster than I would have ever expected. Even as a child, summer vacation seemed to drag on forever; perhaps it was due to the fact that I attended a summer camp comprised mostly of incessantly spoiled, bratty, and over all rude children, who, eventually turned out to be, the same type of people who made my days in high school that much more miserable. I always seemed to dread summer, no matter how much I destained school. Whether it was the unruly children in my camp group, my on going weight gain (I seemed to gain the most weight during the summer--without a doubt due to the 'snack shed' we had at camp and later a result of the fries and tomato soup (to name a few things) at Kutz sleep-away camp), or my final days as a councilor, miserable because I was working with younger children who, more times than not, would stick unforseen things up their noses, summer time was always met with a bit of negativity. Luckily, I've moved on from that. Instead of scoffing at days laying out on the beach, attempting at my poor excuse for a tan, I welcome it with open arms. And nothing beats curling up in a well ACed coffee shop with a book or two that you've been trying, yet failing, to finish during the school year. Summertime now means visiting friends and family for a longer period of time than three weeks. And while I still find running, and doing any sort of sport, during the summer to be incredibly difficult, I have mostly over come that with the help of a gym and summer league (when I played) two nights a week. Needless to say, this summer was six weeks of well deserved relaxation and the new school year is certainly met with an open mind.

*A few bits and bobs here:

-Spent the weekend here in Nottinghill and attended the Nottinghill Carnival for the first time; such an incredible experience! Probably would have enjoyed myself a bit more had I been able to drink (stupid medication--at least I'm done with that). Overall, great time!

-More pictures taken with my new, and incredible, camera. I'll post some on here and the rest on facebook.

-Paris with Adam in three weeks. So excited! And congrats to my cousin and her, now, fiance! Can't wait to see both of them in three weeks when I visit!

-Must be off! More later :)

Marching Bands of Manhattan...

2009-08-21T09:15:00.000-07:00

*So I've returned to Milton Keynes after a very exciting and, at times, crazy summer vacation spent back at home. Adam surprised me by meeting me at the airport, even though he had convinced me he wasn't able to take off from work. I was ecstatic!

*For everyone I ended up seeing during my time in the States, it was wonderful to see you all. For everyone else whom I could not see, I will be back in December. Unfortunately, the one thing I've learned from my visits over the past year is that I will not always be able to see everyone during my stay. It sucks; but it's also the reality of living so far from my friends and family.

*With that said, being back meant moving into my new apartment. I love this place. And the best part: it's all mine! My first one bed room apartment! I officially feel like an adult. That's not to say I wasn't an 'adult' last year. However, I have to say, living with that many people was certainly reminiscent of being back at Towson. It had a very college-esque feel to it. This new place is my own 'home.' Even with my shoes, clothes, and various personal belongings still strewn across my floors (I've only been living here a total of two days), it's beginning to feel like a place I will be able to call 'home'; not just a house that has all of my stuff. Once I get settled in and feel it looks presentable, I'll take pictures and post them.

* I'm going to see Avenue Q in the West End on Saturday evening. Adam surprised me (once again) with tickets after he had heard me talk about wanting to see the show. I literally made mention of it once to my father during Adam's stay in Jersey. I couldn't believe it when he told me where we were going.

Broke into the old apartment... II

2009-08-11T21:47:00.000-07:00

A quick preview for those of you who wish to actually weed through all 160 photos from home. I promise they're not ALL of Adam and me making you want to vomit from sheer sappieness (though I must admid, there are quite a few). Over all my trip has been/was incredible. I'm still in Florida until the 16th and then I fly home from Philly on the 17th. I think, at this point, I'm about ready to head back to the UK--a very good sign for my staying in MK for another year. I'll blog a bit more once I actually get back to my house and settle in; I simply cannot wait for my new apartment!!

Greetings from States-side...

2009-08-10T03:04:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I last posted. A quick updated as I'm currently on my way to the airport (yet again) for the final part of my USA visit.

*Adam left last night after spending a good week or so with me here in the US. I was sad to see him leave, but it's only for a week or so. I think this was a true test to see how long we could 'stand' to be with one another; to be honest, it didn't even seem like a week, it went so well. My family loved him--a huge thumbs up to that. Then again, I don't think I ever had a doubt in my mind that the outcome would be any different.

*It was great to see friends down in Baltimore; I think that was the most difficult part of the trip to say goodbye to. There was so much more I wanted to do with my friends, but I suppose that's the price you pay for having a life abroad; luckily, there is always December!

*I have to run, but I'll see if I can update more in the airport.

*US Airways has officially made it to the same [personal] list that Air Canada is on. I decided to give away my seat for a direct flight to West Palm instead of stopping over in Charlotte. I was under the impression they would be awarding me with a voucher as everyone else was; no such luck. According to the woman behind the desk at my new gate, 'you did not volunteer your seat really. We simply found you an earlier, and more direct, flight.' My willingness to help them out (of course in hopes I received something in return) has been made to seem as though they were doing me a favor; their five dollar food voucher certainly did not cover what they promised. Needless to say, when I became rather cross with them following being informed that I didn't yet have a seat on my new flight, I was met with the typical rudeness that you can expect from a public service worker in this area. Their lack of communication amongst their company is the crux of the problem and I can only pray my luggage arrives on time and at the correct airport.

*It seems as though we're boarding. Apparently I've been placed in a middle seat towards the back...'Alexander and The No Good, Horrible, Very Bad Day' anyone?

A new blog name!

2009-07-27T20:32:00.000-07:00

Well, after much thought, I've decided to heed Carolyn's advice on a new blog name. Out of respect for my favorite author, I've decided rename my blog according to a very simple, yet incredibly poignant, quote by Vonnegut. It's true, we are, in some respect, here on Earth to 'fart around' as he so graciously put it. And why not? What's life without a little adventure, without a little fun? All work and no play, well we all know the quote. I think I learned, if anything, this year how true this is. I've seen the polar opposites (and not necessarily at my job either); those who distain a hard days work and those who are so far into their work they cannot see that it's consuming their life. And yet, I've come across people who have made that incredible balance between work and life; those people are the happiest out of the three groups. Of this I am certain. So here's to a new blog name. To a new year. To a new life style. To my first year living soli on my own. To being (as said before) irrevocably in love. To continuing to learn about life. And to being one year older and one year wiser.

And a few quick updates:

In Maryland starting tomorrow until Monday. If you want my number, shoot me a message on facebook. So excited to see everyone!

Adam comes on Saturday. I don't think I need to say how much I've missed him the past week and a half.

I've decided, for the final time, to give it a go at writing a story (short or novella--I haven't decided yet). I'll keep you updated on how it's turning out. All I can say is, I'm writing what I know. You'll have to wait for the finished product to read it.

So I guess there's that...

2009-07-17T13:17:00.000-07:00

Vonnegut. Time and time again I've made reference to him in my ramblings. I've quoted him. I've praised him. I've even thought about doing my Ph.d on something relating to his writing. And yet, I never actually tried writing like him. I think, as my next project, I'll attempt to write a short story (or perhaps novella) using aspects of his own writing style. Of course I would never rip the man off completely; you must respect the dead. I think it'll be interesting to see whether or not I'll be able to mix my own personal style (if I can even find one) with aspects of Vonnegut. It will certainly be a feet if I can finish this, especially since I've never actually finished a story; probably the reason for my feeble attempt at writing poetry.

Today I officially ended my first year of teaching. It felt surreal. No doubt I poured hours and hours into my final year at Towson in some ridiculous attempt to perfect the art of teaching. 'Any teacher who says they are perfect at teaching or knows everything should retire' is what our cohort leader said; how true. Reflecting today on my way into work, I realized how far I have come this year alone. How far I have come since Kate and I opened those doors of the auditorium into the sunlight after receiving our ticket into the 'real world'. It was as though the outside was welcoming us with open arms saying: 'C'mon in. You've worked hard. Don't worry, we'll take good care of you'. To some extent it has taken very good care of us--well, me for that matter--I haven't spoken to Kate and the rest of my classmates nearly as much as I would have if I stayed in Maryland or even the States. For me, I can say, the real world has been kind. True, it had its ups and downs this past year. But what's life without a little rocking of the boat? With the rough times came some incredible experiences, both in and out of the classroom. To wrap up this rant, 2008/2009 was, by far, one of the best years of my life. And while I was miles away from most of the ones I love, I realised, through that distance, that I have some incredible people back at home. It made it rough at times being here, but I think--no, I know-- this entire experience is something that I will take with me forever. No matter what.

With that said, I just became quite anxious, in a not positive way, about going back to Maryland; or more specifically, Towson. I realized after speaking to a friend of mine from college that most people have moved on since I last saw them in December/January. The ones who I always thought would be there have now seemingly moved away from that comfort zone and on to starting their own lives. Then again, I suppose I shouldn't get upset; they just did exactly what I did, only a year later. This is what happens when we grow up and it needs to be kept in mind.

As Carolyn brought to my attention a few posts back, I need a new name for my blog. Any suggestions?

And finally, to wrap this up, I have just one last thing to say: I am, without a doubt, whole heartedly, stupidly, and irrevocably, in love; for the first time ever. So I guess there's that... ;)

We will go there, leave this, weakness, can't take this from me...

2009-07-08T09:40:00.001-07:00

*Once again, I find myself reunited with a band from my past (no thanks to my iPod partially breaking--I'm left without a screen for my iPod so whatever comes my way is completely random); Ladies and Gents, I give you, the one, and only: Dispatch. How on earth did I manage to ever allow this incredible threesome to make their way to the bottom of my selection? From their interest of charity work in Africa to catchy guitar rifts, poignant lyrics to feet-stomping drum beats, it's a wonder I ever let them slip from my daily play lists. For those of you who have never heard Dispatch, or just need a good dose (as I found I certainly did), you can simply go to www.dispatchmusic.com . Lucky for you, they have a free player at the top of their website that plays all their albums (including their solo stuff). Check it out and be prepared to be 'wowed'!

*It's funny because, in less than two weeks, I will have completed my first year of teaching. I was in the middle of a lesson today and thought 'this has become such second nature, I could practically do it with my eyes closed!' Well, on second thought, perhaps it would be best if I didn't do that; a few of my classes might end up, literally, swinging from the rafters (or just beating the crap out of each other). I can see my confidence growing, with regard to what I'm doing. I am clearer of my strengths and weaknesses. I am seeing results that I'm quite pleased with; even with a class as difficult as my year 7s. Sometimes I forgot that I'm teaching in England, and then I come back to my senses, and I get this really gitty 'wow-I-actually-made-it' feeling in my stomach that just sends me through the roof; it's a wonderful feeling.

*Five months on the 14th!! :) I cannot believe this; it's still going so well!

*I just found this on my friends page via Facebook. Teachers: Imagine if we ever spoke to a student like this. Police and law enforcers/Military: Would you ever speak to a child like this? Parents: Would you like your child to be spoken to like this? Take a look: Police in Baltimore

*Anyway, I'm off to Sophie/Laura's for a movie night. 10 days "ya'll":)

Would you call my name out loud? Do you suppose that I would come running?

2009-07-06T03:51:00.000-07:00

*Dispatch. What a band. It's been

'If I hide myself where ever I go, am I ever really there...'

2009-06-29T14:45:00.000-07:00

*Not sure why, but Stunt and Everything To Everyone has been playing non-stop on my iPod for the past week or so. I forgot how many good songs there were on those two albums, though I think I might prefer Stunt--Call and Answer and It's All Been Done are definite two awesome songs :D Nothing like music that brings you back to your early years (and we're talking as far back as 5th grade!).

*I saw Transformers with Adam in London on the big IMAX; what an awesome movie! Granted I still say the first one was the best, but this one was a definite close second. I think the power of the IMAX added to the effects. Though, I must admit, at some points, I felt a bit like I did at the end of The Dark Knight; complete sensory overload.

*We're really starting to wind down the year at this point; everyone seems to be in 'end of the year' mode. I am really looking forward to the end of the year, regardless of all the vacation we were given during the school year. I know that those breaks are certainly needed, especially when you have KS4 and 5 classes, but I think that June 21st will always remain, in my mind, as the 'last day of school' (as it was for 12 years of my life). Of course I cannot let that get in the way--something tells me that my explanation for why I've decided not to teach my students past the 21st of June wouldn't exactly fly with the principal of my school (with good reason).

*We have Sports Day tomorrow. This major event is nation wide, so we're not the only school crazy enough to bring students out on a 92 degree day (believe me, I'm going to look like an oversized lobster after tomorrow, regardless of the amount of sunscreen I apply). In all honesty, regardless of the heat, I think this will be fun. As I was telling a colleague of mine who asked why we didn't have sports day, this is something to cover the lack of Football/Basketball/Hockey games we have (not to mention Homecomming).

*I think Adam and I might see All's Well That Ends Well in Regents Park this weekend :) Should be really nice, given the weather isn't too ghastly hot.

*Less than 3 weeks until I'm home! So excited to see everyone!

Okay I must be off. Time for bed and then up tomorrow for a nice healthy dose of sun stroke! :)

Lake District Fun...

2009-06-26T11:30:00.000-07:00

So I'm about a week late on my update regarding the Lake District trip; over all, a VERY good time :)

Some quick things:

1. My favorite picture of the entire weekend (out of 150 of them mind you...):

2. Climbing mountains is probably one of my newest interests (which is incredibly ironic as I'm a completely uncoordinated to begin with. Climbing up a large mountain at a good 50 degree angle with uneven rocks and few, if any footpaths, really isn't a 'safe' idea for someone with my klutzy tendencies...). Look: And that's not even at the top; that resulted in one incredibly, awe inspiring, view--sublime to say the least.

3. I met the rest of Adam's immediate family; it was definitely nice to meet them and it made for an even better weekend :)

4. If you want to see the remainder of the photos (not all 150 as I deleted a good portion of the photos I didn't like) they're up on facebook.

'Do you believe in what you see? There doesn't seem to be anyone else who agrees with me'

2009-06-18T12:44:00.001-07:00

*Well, I've whole heartedly accepted my newest obsession with anything related to Zach Braff; mainly Garden State, an already known obsession for many (obvious) reasons, and Scrubs. I'm not sure if it's the fact that he's an awesome actor/director, has great taste in music (see Garden State soundtrack for that one, though to be honest, Scubs has some pretty incredible songs to go along with it as well, though I'm not too sure he has a say in the choice of that), or his ability to make his sheer nerd-ie-ness into something so wonderfully hilarious (it almost makes my own personal moments of nerd-om and social disasters seem acceptable!), but what ever he does, he is certainly doing something right :)

*Almost Friday after what has been one of the fastest weeks since I first started. I'm not sure where the weeks are going, but it seems as though I've managed to fill my time with just enough to keep myself busy; the quantity of my marking/grading has basically taken a nose dive and I've had the time to actually ensure my lessons are top notch

Check it! *zing* haha.

Yes, I went there, and I'm done.

Continuing on...

*I am most definitely looking forward to a great weekend up in the Lake District with Adam (I'm meeting the rest of his family). According to everyone I've spoken to, it is the place to be for hiking, scenery-- essentially, anything out door related. I'm excited to bust out my camera for some serious shots. Well, it's only an Olympus FE-340 (Push Here Dummy or PHD as I like to call them), but one day I will own a nice camera (when I can afford it--the newest Canon EOS Rebel T1i EF-s 18-55mm, all 900 dollars of it, makes me drool a bit...). I can see it now: I'll become one of those cliche backpackers who carries their camera everywhere with them, I'll become more 'ethical' and almost revert back to my high school self--the massive tree hugger that I was, though much cleaner than most. I'll snack on nothing but Kashi products and perhaps even grow dreads...

...sorry I had to stop there. I realized I was going a bit over board on the 'backpackers paradise' scenario. And don't worry, I won't be reverting back to my high school self. Ever :) (Hippy dippy just doesn't seem to fit me anymore).

*I did a little over 6 miles today in 1 hour and 3 minutes--about a 10 minute mile. I think I'm doing quite well :) Hopefully, once the summer is over I can start bringing that up again. My hay fever ('allergies' for all my American friends out there) seems to be acting up quite a bit this year; new climate perhaps? I had one of those episodes from high school soccer about three weeks ago *shutter*: Hot sticky weather + running + pollen + aggravated that I'm having trouble breathing = hyperventilating.

Joy.

*My room, just for the record, looks like it has thrown up on itself. Somehow, in the span of four days, it has gone from immaculate to one massive pigsty. And on that note, I should go and clean. Hopefully I'll be in bed earlier than 11pm tonight; I've been waking up still incredibly tired and I can't seem to figure out why.

Hey, I've got nothing to do today, but smile...

2009-06-15T05:04:00.001-07:00

*I know it's been a while since I last posted. I'm on lunch break at the moment and didn't feel like going down to the staff room, so I figured I'd update this quickly:

*Have had a few, serious, up and down days the last couple of weeks. I never really thought I'd get to the point where I wanted to go home, but I suppose that's what stress mixed with a serious dose of home sickness will do to a person. Now that I've had some time to calm down and sort a few things out, I'm feeling much better. I was stupidly stressed last week, mainly due to personal things going on outside of school. My housing situation isn't the best and I'm really counting down the days until I'm moved out and on my own; I really need this coming school year to myself. However, when life hands you lemons, the only thing you really can do is make an ice cold pitcher, no matter how sour it may be; in this case, my limited time spent at home means more time running, going out with friends, and giving me more time to read at Starbucks (with the beautiful weather, it's now much cheaper as I can walk there). Along with making the best of the situation, I've learned that, contrary to my belief a few weeks ago, I really do have some great friends here--supportive and incredibly caring people who really do want the best for me--needless to say, I am not alone. Adam would, of course, be under that category--he too was incredibly helpful last week when I felt as though my being here was a huge mistake. Needless to say, things are most defniitely looking up!

*Yesterday was four months and we're going strong. Still incredibly happy. Still enjoying eachothers comapny. All and all things couldn't be better. Huge thumbs up to that :)

*Regardless of no longer being incredibly emotional and overtly homesick, I'm still looking forward to my time spent back in the good ol US of A :) Can't wait to see all of you lovely people!

*I'm starting to think about gradschool and my options for the 2010/11 school year. Right now my top (non-pipe dream) choice would be Kings College in London. With it's incredible 19th centre literature program, it's become my prime targe. Of course my pipe dream still is, and always will be, Oxford; maybe I'll apply just for the hell of it (we'll see).

*Anyway, I'm off! Even though the day is almost over, we have three long meetings this afternoon that will keep me here way past 5--lovely.

'The universe is a big place. Perhaps the biggest.'

2009-06-05T09:33:00.000-07:00

Another week flown by here in the good 'ol UK. It's hard to believe I've been here for almost a year. Jesus.

I graduated from college exactly a year ago last month. Unbelievable.

Last night my housemates and I stood in the kitchen discussing what one would call 'philosophical' topics; those mostly pertaining to things we regret doing from this past year quickly moving to things we simply learned from our new environment. The consensus, however, of the one thing we all learned from our year of teaching in MK was that, in the profession of teaching, one cannot expect to be perfect, nor on top of everything at all times. It simply cannot be done. Point blank. I quickly remembered my mentor from my high school rotation telling me that and, even quicker, remembered myself not believing her. How naive was I? I have learned so much from one year alone. The basics of teaching, for one, have become second nature to me (classroom management, to name one); of course I still have much to learn, but that's all part of teaching--once you say you know everything, it's time to pack it up and leave.

Looking back at where we (Sue Hanson's cohort) were this time last year, thinking that we had just conquered Mt. Everest, and to some extent we had, it's hard to believe how much I, and I can assume many others from that group, have learned in this past year. Someone told me, about this time last year actually, that graduating from college was a huge culture shock, largely explaining my spontaneous crying fits for the first month following graduation.

It's a beautiful morning...

2009-05-29T00:49:00.000-07:00

*I'm still here in wonderful Notting Hill for my half term holiday. I'm really enjoying the time I'm spending with Adam; it's nice to finally have some down time where I don't feel as though I'm rushing around, worrying about what train to catch in order to be back at work in time etc. etc. ...and here's where I know I've been living in England far too lond already (just kidding)...
...Though the weather (yes, I'm in fact writing about the weather) has been unpredictable these past few days, today looks as though it will be utterly breath taking. England in the spring, as I've noted, is much like Maryland weather; if you don't like what you see, wait 10 minutes ;). I'm thinking this morning's run is going to be extra hay-fever-ish...I'm quite surprised at how much pollin still floats around, even in an urban environment (though I suppose with Hyde Park running parallele to where I run, it's to be expected...).

*A surprise came for me the other day. Just because, and I nearly died, Adam decided to buy me one of the unedited copies of Kurt Vonnegut's "Hocus Pocus". The book itself has all of the typos AND even has Vonnegut's own personal signature. The idea of Vonnegut actually holding the book in his hands, hands I can only guess to have been through some incredibly rough experiences, is beyond mindblowing. I'm reading it at the moment and normally I destroy books (something that actually drives Adam insane), but in this particular case, I've been extra careful not to break the spine or write on the pages. Heck, I won't even dog ear the pages to keep my place; I've replaced that with a sheet of lined paper (I've never been one for book markers).

*I'm running a 10K with one of my colleagues next Sunday. Should be fun :)

*Less than two months until I'm baaaccckkk :-D

*Nicci's wedding was last Sunday; it was quite an event. The service itself was something I've never experienced, mainly due to the fact that all but two of the weddings I've attended in the past 6 years (or rather the ones I can remember) have been Jewish Orthodox. Anyway, Nicci looked stunning, her bridesmaids outfits were lovely, the party afterwards was small, but in a gorgeous Victorian-esque estate-type place (you really needed to arrive in a horse and buggie to feel the full effect of that gem). On top of this the entire department was actually able to get together for this event; it was an excellent time indeed.

*I must be off. Time for a run, getting some more marking accomplished, enjoying the beautiful weather before it turns to shit (as I said it has the tendency to do), and then I think the Piccasso exhibit in the evening.

Who needs sleep...?

2009-05-19T14:38:00.000-07:00

*I haven't been sleeping very good lately. I wake up exhausted and my jaw hurts (apparently I'm developing this horrible habit of clenching my teeth while I sleep...). Along with this my eye has developed a slight twitch on the upper lid; I can only assume that it's due to all of this as well. Today I about hit a wall with teaching and work. I think that traveling so much between London and here is starting to get to me--which is worrying because I have a feeling I won't be able to visit Adam in London as much as I have recently. I'm starting to notice that I'm not getting as much done as I should be, and this could have dire effects on my over all teaching. I don't know how I'm going to find a happy medium between having a social life and maintaining a decent standard at work; how do teachers juggle between a life and work? At first I was doing nothing but work, and now it seems as though I may have slipped out of that (though this was a shortened half term so everything was crammed into a short span of time). I don't want to NOT have a social life, but I also want to continue advancing with my teaching skills. I wish they would write the book 'Life and Teaching For Dummies: A Simple-man's guide to juggling teaching and a life. Talk about using that 'Easy' button (sorry British Folks if you're not familiar with that--it was an advert for Staples [in the US] about a year or so ago)--I could use one of those right about now.

*It's 10:45pm and I'm heading to bed; I need to be up at 5:45 to get work done since I was too exhausted to do anything after work this evening...lovely...

That was a crazy game of poker...

2009-05-18T11:12:00.000-07:00

*I'm just about finished with my newest Vonnegut book 'Bluebeard'. It's taken me FOREVER to finish this, but it's not as though I've had a huge quantity of time. By far the BEST Vonnegut book I've read thus far; might even surpass Breakfast of Champions (I know...crazy...right?!)

*I have almost two months worth of my first year of teaching left. I still can't believe how quickly this has gone and how much I still need to do before the end of the year. On a higher note, home to the States in two months as well. You all know my dates of visiting (see my last post) so if you want to see me, send me a message via facebook or AIM. I'll have a pay as you go phone (new number as well) since I had to scrap my old US phone (crapped out on my during my last visit).

*It's typical English weather today...I was metaphorically 'pissed on' by rain today walking home. I hate carrying umbrellas, especially if I'm coming back from London in the morning and have more than enough stuff to carry as is.

*I feel as though I'm falling behind in my running...I did manage to run 5 miles in about 50 minutes (with one of my colleagues) last Thursday, which, I suppose, isn't so bad. I'm just worried I'm going to start gaining weight again. Bathing-suit season is close and I still have a few things to tone up before I can even THINK about going out in public wearing a two piece.

*Saw Angels and Demons with Adam last night; surprisingly enough it was a good movie (very much UNLIKE ANY of Brown's novels). I was so irritated with The Da Vinci Code (the movie)--it dragged and dragged for a good portion of the film. It was a shame since my favorite actress, Audrey Tatou, was one of the main characters. The theatre we went to was brilliant--the Notting Hill Cinema. For those of you who are from the Bergen County/Rockland County area, you know the Suffern Movie Theatre; it looks almost identical to that :)

*My grandparents are coming to Southhampton in less than a week :-D! I'm so excited to see them (and a bit nervous for them to meet Adam). It'll be so good to see family...

*Nicci's wedding is in less than a week; I can't even begin to imagine what she's going through right now (the amount of stress must be unbearable!) I'm so excited for her (not to mention for my first British Wedding hehe)!

*Must be off! I don't really think this was a very interesting post to be honest, but I just felt like writing. Ah well...

But you talk too much, you say too little...

2009-05-13T13:08:00.001-07:00

*I just found a few Better Than Ezra songs on my iTunes that I forgot I had. I'm definitely a sucker for 90s music--and they were certainly wonderful in concert when I saw them a few years ago.

Fred Jones Part 2...

2009-05-11T13:11:00.000-07:00

*My last post was slightly disjointed. I suppose that's what happens when you attempt to write in a state of inebriation...then again, some of the best writers wrote while they were on far worse. It's not illegal so that's that.

*We're starting to wind down for the year already. All of this in one fell swoop. I'm losing my Year 13s and 11s at the end of this term. To be honest, I'm going to really miss some of them. While I know they'll be in 6th form/post-16, it won't be the same if I'm not teaching them/their tutor. As my friend Nicci said the other day 'the day you start to miss the ones that are going is the day you know you're in the right profession'. While there's a part of me that hopes I've had some profound impact on my students, I know as a teacher is a thankless job and the few 'thank yous' that you do receive are to be cherished and put in your 'special box'; they are often few and far between. My 'special box' is only a folder at this point consisting of letters from my student teaching students. Regardless of how small it might be, I've taken it out a few times throughout the year when I really was questioning whether or not I was in 'right profession'.

*I found a place for next year! I'm so incredibly excited about this--such a small, adorable, and personable flat; not to mention it's, once again, in walking distance of the school. While it's not London, it's affordable and mine. For the first time in my life I'll be living on my own (though I'm contemplating getting a cat :)). I know there are times when my mind plays tricks on me (at night mainly) and I become really freaked out, but I'm hoping that a cat will negate this lol (I know, I'm pathetic...).

*I called MK music school and asked about information about some ensemble that they have for adults. I'm hoping they have room for another clarinet player; it would be great to start playing with a group again.

*Unfortunately, I no longer can do the half marathon as it falls on the same weekend as my trip back to the States. However, there is a 10K I'm doing in July AND hopefully Adam and I will get a bid for next year's London Marathon (not to mention doing the half marathon in MK once again :) ). I'm so hooked on running it's beyond ridiculous at this point! I do need to get myself a new pair of running shoes; mine are basically worn down to the soles which really hurts my heels after a while.

*I'm so incredibly excited about the items I bought for Nicci's wedding at the end of the month :) I got my FIRST British 'wedding hat'. Paired with my black and white dress from White House Black Market, my red clutch, and the junk jewelry I'm sporting, it'll be one heck of an outfit.

*I'm starting to look at grad programs for two years from now. I'm looking at Kings College and UCL (both part of the London University system). I'll also be applying to Oxford; it's a HUGE pipe dream, but what's the worst they could say...no? I'll take my chance, if anything just to say I tried :).

*My grandparents are coming to Northhampton in about two weeks time. I'm really excited to see them (not to mention they'll be meeting Adam). It'll be good to see family after so many months. Along the lines of family and friends, I have two months until I'm back home for a months visit; very exciting.

*3 months this thursday! I can't believe it. I'm just waiting for something to go wrong because none of my relationships have ever lasted this long, being this stable. I just read that last sentence and it feels a bit pathetic; though I suppose to each his own ;) It's so easy to just be me around him (That sounds so cliche I almost want to be sick...) and regardless of my countless quirks/flaws, he still remains to be interested in me; I must have picked a good one this time around. He really is brilliant!

*Must be off...I have an observation for year 13 tomorrow by the head of KS3; Teaching Charlotte Bronte's 'Retrospection'. God I love teaching this year group; if I could ONLY teach Years 12 and 13 I'd be the happiest person alive (perhaps not as happy as teaching university, but close enough for now).

Ick.

2009-05-06T13:05:00.000-07:00

I just read my last post and all I can say

A Modern Myth

2009-05-01T16:30:00.000-07:00

I know it's been AGES since I last updated, so I'll try to be as specific as possible without boring you all to death with my ramblings.

First, things with Adam and I have been going wonderfully :-D It's the first time in my life where a relationship has not been showing signs of deteriorating. It's so easy and I'm so relieved to have finally found someone who ACTUALLY makes me happy rather than making my life a living hell (I know that sounds really drastic and perhaps over dramatic, but I look back at all my 'serious' relationships and they've caused nothing but problems and pain). I'm heading off to Devon with Adam and his family (Mother and Father--eep!!) tomorrow until Monday. How crazy that I'm meeting the parents already!!! Ridiculous, yet quite exciting :)

I've put all of my grading aside and have begun focusing on my planning; can I just say how much of a relief the past week and a half has been to know that the reason why teaching has acted as more of a problem than a passion weeks prior to Spring Break was because I was spending more time on my marking and less time on my planning. How can I possibly expect to become a better teacher if all I do is focus on the grading aspect of teaching--there must be a happy medium...

I have booked my dates for the States (for this summer) and they are as follows: 20th-25th of July Philly; 25-26th Wildwood Tourny (woot !!); 27-28th Philly; 28th-3rd July/August Baltimore/Washington; 3rd-9th New Jersey/New York; 9th-10th Philly; 10th-16th Florida; 16-17th Philly/Back to UK :) If you're in my area any time during my stay please let me know as I'd love LOVE to see you :) I miss everyone terribly and cannot wait to see 'ya'll' soon! Adam is coming with me as well which is awesome :-D!!!

I'm slightly confused as to WHY a friend of mine (whom I just got back in touch with recently) decided to unfriend me from facebook AND block me on AIM after having a normal conversation earlier this week with NO signs of any issues. I wish that people would simple grow up and let me know that I've done something wrong (if that really is the case) rather than revert back to 5 years ago when we were younger and take the measures they've decided to take. I'm a bit disappointed at the fact that we both agreed it was okay to be friends, but now it's apparent that it's simply NOT okay. I suppose that's life and since I've been blocked/unfriended I'll really never know whether or not I've done something wrong or if something else is going on in their life at the moment. Blech. Not fair.

I'm going to head to bed now. It's been a long (though very productive) day and I'm exhausted :( Up at 545 tomorrow morning....this should be interesting....really excited/nervous for this weeekend!!!

Yo quero la quenta, por favor :)

2009-04-07T12:12:00.000-07:00

*Got back from Barcelona early on this morning and can I just say what an incredible time that was :) Most of my pictures are up on Facebook and the rest will be up later on this week.

Adam and I stayed in the Gothic Quarter, which was right near the major cathedral and about two miles down from the Med. Sea :-D We saw all the major sights, but it didn't feel as though we were rushed around like I have on my past vacations. We spent a good deal of time on the beach, simply walking around the city, drinking copious amounts of coffee/eating

Testing 1,2,3 can anybody hear me?

2009-04-03T09:03:00.000-07:00

So I made it through my second term of my first year of teaching. One more term and I'll have survived my first year of teaching; a scary and impressive thought--if you ask me ;)

So long, Astoria...

2009-03-27T08:50:00.000-07:00

So it's been about a week or so since I last updated this thing. It's been one hell of a busy week so I'll keep it short but informative :)

*I spent last weekend (again), as most of you saw on facebook, in Nottinghill with Adam. It was so nice, just the two of us (well except for Saturday night where we met up with Bri and Amanda. Was a good time :) ). The weather was spectacular, and much walking/picture taking was done. A big 'thumbs up' to that weekend indeed. What I wouldn't give to be able to afford to live in that area...

*I'm slowly building myself back up from the half marathon. For the past two weeks I've been doing a full 45 minutes on the tredmill. My knee has stopped hurting (thank God. See, I DON'T need drugs, my body heals itself!) which is good. I'm about go for my second run outside since the race (I've been taking my friend to the gym so I haven't had much time for running outside). I'm looking to do a second race in July, right before I head home.

*Which reminds me: 1. If you haven't already figured it out, or I haven't already said anything, I'm staying in England for another year. Everything is going swell as is, and while I'm missing all my friends back at home terribly, I need money to live and America isn't exactly the 'land of opportunity' at the moment. My job pays the bills and then some. But don't worry, you haven't lost me to the Motherland quite yet ;) 2. I'm home from the 20th of July to the 20th of August. I'll let all you lovely people know once I figure out which week I'm spending in which state (NJ/NY, MD, PA, Fla.).

*I recently had an old friend come back into my life, which I'm happy about. I think the past year or so of not speaking did us both a lot of good. I look forward to meeting up when I get home for lunch and a much needed catch up :)

*Yes, Adam and I are 'official' Haha I sound like my students, but I have to admit I'm quite giddy about this. Even my department was telling me I was 'floating on Cloud 9' when I came in on Monday morning (I had just gotten back from London--you can imagine how much slack I was getting about that one ;) ).

*Carolyn comes in two weeks. Need I say more?! Yes, I would be rather excited about this. Paris, get ready. Here we come. ;)

Off to do a run, shower, vacuum, and then pick Adam up from the train station. We're heading up to Manchester for the weekend and seeing Jackie and Toni tomorrow night. What an awesome weekend!!!!

Looking back...

2009-03-16T12:32:00.000-07:00

Friday was Red Nose Day. The English department dressed up as punks and I found myself pulling out my Flogging Molly t-shirt from high school; my last remaining piece of high school memorabilia that isn't locked up in the attic at my parents' house amongst the cobwebs and A-tracks. Looking at the pictures taken from Friday, it was as though I had jumped some time warp and had been sent back to 2003.

This weekend, the drama director from my high school died; this will be the second teacher from MHS to die in the past two months.

The very same day I ran into three couples in Notting Hill, two of whom were from Mahwah; they were in town for the week for a relatives wedding. Not only did they come from Mahwah, but one of the couples lived two streets down from Beverdige Road--our first house in Mahwah before my parents split. Of course, as one would who meets someone from their town 3,000 miles away, there was plenty of name dropping (to be honest the man who was wearing the Yankees hat was more interested in talking about Mahwah than answering my questions about how the Yankees were doing--I'm a bit out of touch with Baseball since it's not exactly 'popular' here), which Adam seemed to find hilarious because 'that's what Americans seem to always do...' according to him.

After all of these reminders of where I've come from, I began thinking about the past and how hard we often try to forget it.

There are very few things I remember about high school, but the one thing that I could never forget was how I felt after graduation. The graduating class was shipped off to the Sheraton Hotel for a night of dancing at Illusions followed by games at the RCC. Walking around that tacky room of lights, mirrors and blaring top chart music, I think for the first time I understood what Jaques truly meant when he said 'All the world's a stage,/And all the men and women merely players/They have their exits and their entrances'. For my 13 years spent in the Mahwah Public School System (though more specifically 7 years--6th grade was the deciding factor of whether or not I'd be miserable for a healthy portion of my adolescent and teenage life) I had been 'playing' a part, and it was finally over; saying I was relieved would be an understatement. For the first time since my mother told me I couldn't become a cheerleader (probably for the best, fitting into one of those uniforms during my final years of high school would have been beyond emotionally scaring. Not to mention I wasn't exactly coordinated...or girly...) I could relax and it felt wonderful. I went up to people, specifically those I didn't normally speak to as they mercilously teased me during school, because I didn't care any more. I figured it was better to at least attempt to leave off on good terms with people than leave with a grudge, which would require far more energy than I was willing to exhort. At that point, who cared what people thought of me? In two months I'd be 4 hours south of Mahwah, where all of this would be one hell of a bad dream.

And that's exactly what I did--five years later I'm now sat on my bedroom floor 3,000 miles from that small town with nothing but distant memories from days when I would have done anything to get out; as far as I'm concerned it's a chapter of my life that's put to rest.

Yet, during my years in college, and even now that I have a full time job, a pension, traveling the world, and an optimistic outlook about the future, I still came/come back and visit (though mainly because of my family and select few close friends). And no matter how many years have passed, I still find that there are certain people who are still residing in the same place they were 5 years ago. There are those who will never get out, and those who generally don't want to. Had you asked me 5 years ago my opinion of this I would have turned my nose up at the very idea, but if traveling has taught me one thing, it's that you must be tolerant of those who have different views than you. Originally, my view was 'what? don't like traveling? you must be out of your narrow mind!' But now, I've come to realize that there are those who don't mind that life and residing in Mahwah is enough for them to be happy. After all, don't we all deserve to be happy, regardless of how or where?

So to wrap up this post because it's clear I've begun rambling, is this: what this past weekend has taught me is that instead of trying to escape where you come from, perhaps you should just accept it, regardless of how much you may have hated it at the time. It's clear you simply cannot escape it, no matter how hard you might try. Besides, even if we did, and managed to simply forgot everything, the small quirky events in life wouldn't exist. We wouldn't have those embarrassing memorabilia pieces still stored in our dresser drawers itching to be taken out and used to your delightful embarrassment, news would never float over an ocean regardless of how serious or trivial it might be, and random occurrences, such as meeting Yankees fans from your home town, who live three streets down from your old house, in the middle of a city located 3,000 miles away from all that, would never happen.

I did it...

2009-03-09T12:49:00.001-07:00

Okay so I have to admit that I'm listening to The Ataris at the moment...I don't know what I'm trying to bring myself back to early college, but I'm just in that sort of mood--you can make of me as much as you like (it's totally understand able ;) ).

Right so the main point of my post: I did it. After putting this off for about 2.5 years, I finally gathered up enough courage to run my first half marathon; not to mention in quite a respectable time (for a first run--2 hours 20 minutes).

6 month mark...

2009-02-25T12:46:00.000-08:00

So I realized the other day that I've been officially living in England for exactly half of a year! Time certainly flies when you're country hopping, meeting new people, and learning the ropes to a completely different education system. There are, and always will be (until I return home) certain things I miss about the US and particular things I most definitely do not. Lets see what I can come up with:

What I Miss:

*Target

*Panera

*Having a car

*Driving on the CORRECT side of the road/having the Drivers Seat on the left side of the car

*Starbucks that stay open until 11pm

*Patriotism (surprising huh?)

*The sun being out for more than an hour at a time (and for more than just one day a week at that!)

*695 on a really clear, sunny, and warm day with some incredible CD blaring out of my stereo, windows down, and no traffic (the last part is very rare, though I've experienced it twice!)

*Not needing to explain what a 'Jewish person is' more times than I'd like to count...believe it or not the British put some Americans to shame in the ignorance department.

*Kashi Cereal

*A good Ultimate scene *sigh*

*Any sort of outdoor/indoor sports club

13.1 in 12

2009-02-24T00:16:00.001-08:00

So for those of you who don't already know, I'm running my first half marathon on the 8th of March. Preparing for this beast has been less than easy, especially with the massive amounts of snow we received about two weeks ago--it put a HUGE damper on my training since England goes just a bit loopy when even the slightest bit of white stuff hits the ground.

I ran 6 miles this morning for the first time in a while and I'm a bit tired; not good. I'm hoping that the running 'gods' will help me through the 8th and I don't fail miserable in front of my friends. At this point I'm simply going for finishing, proving to myself that I CAN do this!

I had my first parents evening last night and I succeeded with flying colors! One of the parents told me that their child didn't mention anything about any other teacher, but said that she really liked me :) It was reassuring knowing that I'm not a complete failure at this job of mine. This week is going to be a bit stressful since I have a heap of marking to get done before Friday/Monday. On top of trying to train...well it'll just have to get done.

Dublin was incredible. I didn't get to Cork for certain reasons (which was fine), but went to Co. Mead instead. Tara Hill--not just a golf course (though it looks like that from the road)--I'll leave it at that. I got to see Joyce's house, Wilde's House, The National Gallery, The Temple Bar, Siffy on the Liffy (as they call it--basically this giant needle-like structure in the middle of the River Liffy), an Old Abbey (out in Co. Mead), and a huge protest against the government and their issue with taxing the working class (nothing new there). It was great to see Jay again and I'm hoping he'll make his way to England at some point (as I told him, he'll have the opportunity to see MK and all it's glory...haha). All pictures are up on Facebook.

Time for yet another day at work! Hoping that my lessons go as well as they did yesterday...

Coldplay and Cosmos...

2009-02-10T12:24:00.000-08:00

I haven't written in a while; I suppose you could say a lot has happened. Last week the UK was 'dumped' on with snow. Now, by the North Eastern USA's standard, this was nothing (almost laughable). The problem is the serious lack of road salt and streets too small to fit a plough through...

...this country relies on stick shift cars...

...those of you from areas on the east coast, where people typically can afford flashy sports cars (Bergen County, NJ for example), you know, as well as I do, why you do not see those gems driving around in the dead of winter. There's nothing like trying to shift from 'reverse' into first without either A. stalling out B. getting your tires stuck (causing them to spin) or any other variety of problems. Anyway, this massive amount of accumulation resulted in a four day weekend for us teachers. I'm certainly NOT complaining about this--only that I was becoming a bit stir crazy after two days of being stuck in my house (mainly due to the fact that I lack a car of my own and the taxi/bus services were sparser than normal). I managed to begin watching all the Sex in the City episodes, starting from Season 1, read as much as possible, clean my house (oh that was some stress relief right there) and get a few things done that I normally wouldn't get to do during the week. Almost a week later the snow is finally starting to melt and we're resuming back to normal. I'm just learning how to 'ice skate' to work since they don't feel it necessary to salt or shovel the redways. In a city where they 'claim' to be green, they certainly do all in their power to make it nearly impossible to follow along with this life style; at least as far as a car is concerned.

This past Sunday I headed up to Sheffield for a tournament. It was, over all, an enjoyable time and good to finally get back into the swing of things. I even managed to catch up with Andy, an old coworker from my years of 'summer camp'. Four years later and it seems as though we've both made some rather large changes to our lives. He's doing well, going on two years with his girlfriend, and working as a PE teacher in a school up in Sheffield. There are plans in the works for him to move up to Scotland next year and teach while his girlfriend goes back to school. As for the outcome of the tournament, we went 50-50; there was a lot of frustration amongst some of our players due to our inconsistent playing schedules. It's only to be expected when people don't play together on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. Such is life...

...I started listening Coldplay for the first time in ages--okay so maybe my dislike for the band isn't as strong as I thought it was. I guess after talking to that guy on the plane (my first trip over to the UK back in 2006) my view of the group became slightly skewed. 3 years later and they're really not so bad after all...

...if you haven't noticed already, I'm in an elipsis mood...it's a bit reflective of my thought process over the past few days or so...

...Dad and Lori are coming to England on Friday :) I'm relatively excited about this, especially since this is Lori's first time over seas. She's going to love it and I'm excited to show them around London/MK (I know, MK isn't interesting, but it's my first 'place', first job, first attempt at this horribly daunting thing called 'adulthood' and I'm proud to show them I'm not failing miserable...

...according to Sex in the City, the amount of time it takes to get over an ex, properly, is exactly half the time you've dated. It's 1 1/2 months since I've been dumped and we dated for a total of 3...it is now 'officially' acceptable to begin dating once more :). I swear I'm not OCD or anything...

...I realized today that, sometimes in life, I wish I could bring around a Sharpie marker and fix all the grammatical errors in the world; including ones that the English department finds on the white board in the staff room...

...I think I've updated enough...oh and one last thing...Ireland in a week from tomorrow!!! :-D

Ben Folds and Freedom

2009-01-31T14:56:00.000-08:00

Out of no where I started listening to Ben Folds Five again this week. It's been ages since I last sat and really listened and I began to remember why I loved them so much way back when. I can't even remember why I stopped listening.

This past week was exceptionally rough. Monday was fine, Tuesday was ALD teaching 100 plus year 8s how to play ultimate frisbee. They loved it--I was so pleased with the outcome and I think we might be able to get a team together for the spring. ALD means 6 hours straight of teaching and no frees. After, I went for a 5 mile run. Wednesday I, once again, didn't have any frees. 6 hours of straight teaching. I managed to get an entire class set of books marked and reply to all the e-mails I missed during Tuesday's madness. After pulling a 10 hour day I dragged myself back home though managed to catch up with Jason (I'll refer to him as Jay since the name is rather confusing)--at that point it was 11pm and I was exhausted. Thursday hit and by that point I was running on fumes and starting to crack. Year 11s were being complete assess--if they don't realize that their course work is important, at this point, then my case is useless. They are either going to complete it or they're not. Well, after that lesson I felt as though someone had pulled my plus and I lost it. The 'crack' in me began to split in half and I lost it in the staff room during break. Back upstairs after being consoled by two of my amazing colleagues. Year 8s and one of my difficult students really acted up. 3s on his report sent him into a complete hissy fit--another teacher stepped in without my permission--I felt like I was losing control--I just grabbed my books and left for the staff room for my first free in two days. Headphones on. Mark books. Shit I need to prep for year 13 next lesson. Hop on the computer in the office. Jimmy tried to help me (another colleague) but that didn't seem to help. Lesson sorted. Back downstairs to mark books. Head phones on. My head of department yelled my name to get my attention. (My sporatic and short sentences reflect my emotions at this point). Asking me if I was alright and at that point my 'crack' split in two and I lost my bearings. I couldn't help it--it was as if all this pent up stress I had been carrying around for the past how ever many weeks just came pouring out. To be honest it's amazing I lasted this long before this happened. Apparently the rest of the department thought I was taking my transition to a new country, new school, and first year of teaching incredibly well. And to be honest, I was. For some reason, this particular week was just really rough. It had nothing to do with my personal life (a serious change of pace since I got back from the States a month ago--oh hey I was dumped a month ago--where the hell did the time go...?), I think that everything is beginning to pile despite my unyielding effort to get everything accomplished. I need to come to terms with the fact that I cannot expect the following: all of my marking/planning to be caught up on...as a secondary teacher I will always be behind; I cannot expect to get everything perfect this year and even next year. learning this entirely new system will mean I have to start all over again (to some extent); I need to stop being a perfectionist because it's going to drive me nuts (easier said than done). Well, needless to say, after much consoling and a few things fixed, I felt much better (though I still feel like I'm incompetent, to some extent, in many areas of teaching and have SO much to learn). To be honest, without my department, I don't know where I'd be. Friday was a bit better aside from the note from the angry parent asking why his child's book hadn't been marked in weeks and why spellings weren't corrected. To answer this gem of a note: 1. I'm behind in my marking 2. the 'mistakes' you corrected were all notes taken from the board. if your child cannot copy down notes from the board at the age of 13, well I'm sorry, he needs to come and see me. perhaps I should have underlined them, but if I know the student can spell properly, as he does in the rest of his writing, and he's just rushing and not paying attention, well I'm not about to run after him with that.

That week is done and over with. No need to harp on the past. The only thing I can do is look to next week with high hopes. Today I spent most of my day in the City Centre. Started off with coffee at Waterstones and a bit of reading. I was a bit apprehensive of doing this (out of fear of running into Jason), but I wanted to get a book for Ireland and finish Twlight. I knew I was going to be in the City Centre for the day so I saw no reason for going anywhere else. I'm not about to NOT do certain things just because I want to avoid someone--that's silly and a bit pathetic. I bought a pair of army pants for the tourney up in Sheffield next weekend. They are having a Top Gun theme and I'm going combat for the night ;) Aviators and all--pictures will be hilarious, no doubt. I met up with various people from my department throughout the day. It was quite enjoyable.

On the topic of Ireland--I'm overly excited for this trip. I've decided to not only finish up the sights in Dublin I want to see (referring to the ones I didn't get to see the first time around), but I'm also looking into Cork or Kerry :) Jay offered to take me around Dublin (and even drive out to Kerry with me), which is incredibly thoughtful. The past few trips I've taken have been on my own--it'll be nice to know I have someone to travel with (though traveling on your own means you're destined to meet new people).

I'm starting to fall asleep so I'm heading in for the night.

'Confusing an education with cold stone...'

2009-01-25T09:27:00.000-08:00

First, this past week at work flew by ridiculous amounts. Aside from the terrible start to the week, the staff seemed to keep a rather high moral about them. Every day I teach I find new and interesting ways to keep my students engaged and behaving properly. I don't let the small things bother me any more (or at least I try not to). My biggest issue at this point is the fact that my year 13s are making excuses as to why they have come to my class unprepared for the past two lessons (not reading the book, not ordering the book, not doing the homework etc.) I ended up having a lesson with TWO students last week because I had to send out four of them because they came unprepared. Irritating. I told them I'm going to start treating them like college students. If they showed up to a class unprepared at University then they would be sent out (by British standards we would be talking about their seminar--the lectures require no talking and all note taking). Hoping this week proves to be yet another enjoyable one!

This weekend was really great. The first time since I got back from America where I can say I went the entire weekend without feeling like crap. Friday I began by going for about a 4-5 mile run (I don't know exactly how long but I know it was within that frame of distance) and then took myself out to dinner. Yes, that's right, I took myself out to my favorite Italian restaurant in the City Centre (called ZiZis) and it was fantastic. They always say that going out to dinner on your own gets you awkward stares from the wait staff and others eating around you. To be honest there were no eyebrows raised, no indiscreet stares, no 'wow I feel bad for that woman eating all on her own' glances. I had my meal in peace, with my newest Richard Dawkins' book, and felt completely at ease. It was actually quite nice that I could eat with others around me and not have to interact with anyone. Anyway, all in all I enjoyed myself.

Saturday I got up early and headed off to Oxford. What a city--such culture, such beauty, such history! I decided to do a walking tour that lasted for about 2 hours; for 7.50 you couldn't beat that! Our tour guide was beyond knowledgeable, to the point that it seemed as though he had written a history book about Oxford himself (I never got a chance to asking whether or not he had, but I did find out that he went to Oxford at some point for his degree). We got into four of the colleges, and saw a fair amount of the city. Realizing that I was walking the same paths that Chaucer, Locke, Shelly, Elliot, Lawrence, and other true greats of their time, strangely shook me to the core. There's something in the atmosphere of Oxford; it lets you know that everything that has been researched, revealed, written, is still alive and breathing amongst that city. As our tour guide said, 'Oxford is a shirt, a pair of trousers, a pair of shoes. It is a city, a university, a home. Oxford is who you are if you happen to be amongst the lucky to live within its walls.' (Roughly quoted). On a lighter note, I did a bit of shopping and got the cutest dress and jacket at next. All of the pictures, including what the new outfit looks like, are (per usual) up on facebook :) After a long day I headed back to MK for a night out with a few of my friends from work (Those are also up on facebook along with some hilarious videos).

Today was productive as I managed to clean the house (yes...the house and this does include my room surprisingly enough), plan two weeks worth of lessons for year 7, read more of the dead school, speak to my family members, and even update this thing. I didn't go for a run today (oops) but I'll get that in tomorrow.

Must be off to clean up from dinner and settle down with more reading :)

History in the making...

2009-01-19T22:53:00.000-08:00

I know I posted yesterday so I'm going to keep this short. However, I felt that today, marking a huge step forward in American history, should be celebrated and talked about as much as possible.

240,000 people today will pass through security at the West Front of the Capital. Hundreds of thousands more will pack into The Mall. People have rented out rooms, taken days off from work, closed schools, driven, flown, taken a train, and even walked (if the distance permits), all just to say that they experienced the Inauguration Day on the 20th of January 2009. DC natives--at this point--are probably tearing their hair out from sheer frustration over the amount of tourists that are flooding the streets of DC and have been all week. In a way, I'm sad that I don't have the chance to be one of those hundreds of thousands of people to pack into The Mall. I can only imagine how intense the atmosphere must be, even now at 2 in the morning.

At 9:45 am, Joseph Biden will be sworn into office, followed by Barak Obama, who will then be sworn in at 11:46am. The VP of the United States was not sworn in at the same time as the President until FDR took to office (he was also the first present to be sworn in on the 20 of January--just some side information for ya'll ;) ).

At 12:32pm there is a departure ceremony for the outgoing Vice President and President. I might sound off an alarm of some sort-- at 5:32pm (UK time)--signifying Bush and Chenney being out of office. Forever. They, in my opinion, do not deserve a ceremony, but I suppose we cannot go against tradition, now can we?

At 1:35 there is a luncheon held for the newly elected VP and President.

And finally, the big bang (at least for the audience), at 2:36, the President and Vice President will begin their parade going down Pennsylvania Ave., followed by floats, citizen groups, military regiments, and marching bands. At this time (which will be 7:36 my UK time) I'll be having people over to my place for some champagne :) It will be a good time and a great start to what, hopefully will be, an uplifting and hopeful next four years.

'Where the hell on earth was I...?'

2009-01-16T09:59:00.000-08:00

And breathe.

I made it through, what seemed like, one of the longest weeks at WH. I'm not entirely sure why, but I know that it felt as though it dragged on forever. I was so eager for the weekend and so resentful for Friday to come. PD during what should be my time off...WAF assembly (which, mind you, turned out great--I'm so proud of my kiddies :) )... tutorials with students and trying to get so much done before I could relax. Needless to say, I made and I can simply relax for a good 24 hours (I know that sounds pretty pathetic, but I have marking I need to do on Sunday--I'm getting use to working 6 days a week).

I was looking into Adult Education Courses given by Milton Keynes. There's a course called 'Drawing for people who can't'. It sounded really great (especially since I wish I had stuck with art and have lost all drawing abilities)...only problem it's located at Shenley Brook End and well...to be honest...it's a bit too soon. I know there's a slim chance I would run into him every time, or at all for that matter, and regardless of the fact that I told him I want to be friends eventually, just need to take it very slow, it still feels too soon. I'm looking into a Creative Writing course for short stories or perhaps a pottery class. I just need something to bide my time...something to give me an outlet that is more social. Running is a great outlet, don't get me wrong, but it's not very social. I am still looking into joining a running club. We'll see what happens.

I picked up my clarinet last night for the first time in a while. It was great playing again. There's something so relaxing just sitting there, letting your fingers make the music (though I was really struggling last night...). When I was younger I never really appreciated the instrument for what it was. Last night I had a good look at it and saw, for the first time, its true beauty. The silver keys are still cold and clear and the wood is a deep brown, just like the day I got it. I love the smell of the case when I open it; a mix of goose grease, cork, and wood. It's one of those moments that instantaneously sends you back to a memory...last night I found myself sitting in the band room at my old high school. What I wouldn't give to have a second chance to practice harder, become more efficient. If I knew what I know now, I would have pushed myself to practice more, take music more seriously. I would have gone for All County, All Regions, and even All State band. I would have battled harder against the guy who took first chair; I never made it past third. My band director's reason for putting me there was because of how passionate I was when I was playing. The other kid who took fourth was a braniac who ended up going to Carnegie Mellon for University--he knew how to play but was so mechanical about it. Anyway, you can't dwell on the past--I just need to take some lessons and then find a group to play with; I have a feeling lessons won't start for another month or so. Regardless, it's something to look forward to :)

Anyway, time to get ready to go out. One of the PE techs. is leaving so we're all going out for his last day before he starts his new job at the 'Alkatraz of England' as he put it.

A quick post...

2009-01-13T12:23:00.000-08:00

So I'm desperately trying to put off marking for as long as possible. I have two hours left until my laundry is done and I have to head to bed. A few updates from last Thursday:

1. I've decided to give the half marathon another shot. I'll be running the one at the Open University on the 8 of March. Fingers crossed I make it past 8 miles in my training this time. I have a few people running with me, which means that I have a bit more of a push. I've also looked into joining a running club in the MK area. There's one at the ShenleyBrook Leisure Club, though that's a bit of a treck so I'm trying to find one closer. Not only will it give me more motivation, but I'll hopefully continue with my NY resolution to create more of a social network in my area. On the topic of running, I ran over 4 miles today for the first time in a long time. It felt really good, though I'm a bit worried about my left knee as it's been more of a consistent problem.

2. I'm slowly starting to feel like myself again after a good week and a half of being in a semi-daze. My mood swings are starting to calm down (though last night was not a very good example of that). I find with each day it gets easier and easier. Coffee with Lindsey this evening helped (as did the running).

3. My teaching...I sometimes forget that was my initial reason for creating this blog. I'm finding that my classroom management skills are becoming stronger and stronger as the days continue. I am less worried about what my students think of me and more concerned about their performances in my classroom. I find I'm accomplishing a lot more with my students and they're beginning to respond differently than they did last term (I mean that in the most positive way possible). My year 13s today really irritated me--only 5 showed up (most were in testing or study leave) and of those five only two had actually started the book I had assigned before Christmas break; the other three hadn't even purchased the book. It frustrates me because A. They're being lazy B. I know that they're incredibly capable C. They're at the age where, if they're in these bad habits now, imagine what it's going to be like in University.

4. Gulz is coming on the 24 of January :) Excited!

5. Booked my tickets to Dublin for February. It'll be good to be back. I met an Irish bloke (ironically named Jason) in Italy and we'll probably be meeting up at some point, which will be really nice. It'll be nice to get a tour of the city from someone who actually lives there.

6. I'm really excited for my Saturday: Run in the morning. WaterStones mid-morning for some coffee and a new book (all of the ones I received as gifts are now stowed away under my bed for a good 6 months or so). Stoney Stratford in the early afternoon to early evening :) Very excited!!

7. Newest Snow Patrol CD is my newest obsession along with Robert Randolf and the Family Band (thanks Matt lol).

Must be off to mark.

Take Back The City For Yourself Tonight...

2009-01-11T09:36:00.000-08:00

Back from Manchester. What a weekend. Pictures, par usual, are on facebook.

Overall it was very low key weekend. Just what I needed; Two great friends and plenty to take my mind off of being dumped. Friday was really difficult for some reason and I couldn't quite put my finger on as to why this was the case. I was 2 hours away from Jason, had the entire weekend ahead of me with Jackie and Tony, was in the company of some really neat people, and yet, for some reason, for a good portion of the dinner I felt like I was holding on for dear life; I felt as though, at any moment, I might just burst out crying. I felt so child-like. I don't know why this particular break up is affecting me so much more than past ones. I did, however, manage to pull it together and, with some really helpful words of wisdom (from both Jackie and Tony) really enjoyed myself the latter half of the evening. The rest of the weekend (well Saturday and most of today) really was fantastic. Saw much of Manchester City (well the central part), ate at Wagamama's for the first time (such an experience haha!), and did a bit of therapy shopping. After Tony left, Jackie and I spent the remainder of the evening at her flat.

I had a really good conversation with her about what had happened and felt a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. I suppose what I didn't realize, initially, was that from an outsiders point of view there was definitely something else going on that did NOT seem right; Jackie saw it. Tony saw it. People I work with saw it. And yet I was too naive, blind-sighted, to realize that things were quite 'off'. I know that's what happens when you're in a relationship with someone; of course YOU know best because you're the one dating the person--you know that person better than your friends--you never see with absolute clarity. To be honest, I don't know what was actually going on with Jason and probably never will. I don't know if he was still getting over Sasha (though he SWORE up and down that he had been over her for ages), if he was still seeing her on and off, if he was starting to see someone else, or if it was just a case of him trying to figure out his own life and right now was not a good time for him to be in a relationship. Whatever the case maybe, it was projected onto me, and I see that quite clearly now. As I said, I will never know what was actually going on and to be quite frank, I don't care. Everyone has issues--I realize that--but what I can't understand is projecting those issues onto someone else. As my Aunt said in her e-mail 'You've dealt with your fair share of bull shit in your life. At least you now know what to look out for in the future'. She's quite right; I will not put up with someone who does not put the same amount of effort into the relationship as I do. And you know what, I'm not afraid to admit that I want someone to run after me when I'm upset, not just walk away/leave me on my own. If I'm standing at my front door with my head against the glass, crying out of sheer frustration, perhaps thats a sign to do a little more than just stop your car and call out 'hey...you okay'? I'm just throwing that out there...

I think this is the last post I'm going to devote to my relationship with Jason. I don't see any point of harping on the past. Sex and the City said that it takes half the time you dated the person to get over them. Truth be told, I don't want to wait two months. I want to be over Jason NOW. I hate wasting energy on people who clearly don't care about me (yes, I said it, he doesn't care about me--now go ahead and call me childish, immature, ridiculous-- I really couldn't care less at this point).

I started up my new years resolutions: Clarinet lessons are underway (I just need to fill out a form and get a day sorted), I'm starting to become a bit more 'environmentally aware' (for example: turning off my computer when I'm not using it and turning off lights when not in use), I've also started to express my interest in making friends outside of school--I really need to create a strong social network here if I know I'm going to be staying here for more than a year.

Okay I have a bunch of grading to finish by tomorrow. Once again, this is the last post I'm devoting to being broken up with. I'm looking towards moving on with my life because it's the only think I can do at this point.

Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock.

2009-01-08T13:08:00.000-08:00

As one typically does after being broken up with, I'm having one of those cliche 'woe is me' evenings where you drink a lot of wine (regardless of the day of the week) and look through everything your ex significant other gave you while you were together.

Pathetic.

I realized tonight, through a series of comments and answers, that I was almost certainly a rebound for the four year relationship he was in prior (I use that term loosely) to me. It would certainly explain for him being so easy going about the break up. Either that or a person can have a change of heart and go from (seemingly) head over heels to a 'no can do attitude' towards a person in a matter of a little under two weeks. Either way I feel foolish, stupid, silly, childish, naive, and gullible all at the same time.

More wine.

Anyway, I decided to flip through my slightly worn copy of BBCs 'The Nation's Favourite'. Of course my personal favourite poem 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock' is number 26 (out of 100). I, as one would assume, immediately turned to that page, only to find one of my questions (I'm known to write in books...), answered.

"What is 'it'? I still haven't figured this out!" Was the question/comment I made.

"It's his hesitation..." was the reply, written in thick, chicken scratch handwriting.

Interesting.

I gave Jason the book back after the first time he broke up with me. (Do I feel a bit foolish for not stopping it there and then? You bet-chya! I am the petulant child who cannot understand the concept of a 'hot hob' and continues to put her hand on there only to find she is burned!)

He must have answered at some point or another before he gave it back to me.

His (J. Alfred Prufrock) hesitation. He is hesitant about what others think about him; how they perceive him; whether or not they accept him by his physical appearance, social status and abilities.

Makes sense.

Well here's the poem. I'm going to continue on with drinking my wine and maybe get a few papers graded. Though I highly doubt that. Evening lost and ruined.

S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse
A persona che mai tornasse al mondo,
Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse.
Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo
Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero,
Senza tema d’infamia ti rispondo.

LET us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherised upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats 5
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question … 10
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes, 15
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap, 20
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes; 25
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate; 30
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go 35
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair— 40
[They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”]
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—
[They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”]
Do I dare 45
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:—
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons, 50
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all— 55
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways? 60
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
[But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]
It is perfume from a dress 65
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?
. . . . .
Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets 70
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows?…

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.
. . . . .
And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully! 75
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep … tired … or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis? 80
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker, 85
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while, 90
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it toward some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”— 95
If one, settling a pillow by her head,
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all.
That is not it, at all.”

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while, 100
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen: 105
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:
“That is not it at all,
That is not what I meant, at all.”
. . . . . 110
No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use, 115
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old … I grow old … 120
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me. 125

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown 130
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

God Bless You Kurt Vonnegut...

2009-01-05T11:26:00.000-08:00

Kurt Vonnegut once wrote:

"What should young people do with their lives today? Many things, obviously. But the most daring thing is to create stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured."

Interesting how he uses the word 'daring' rather than 'impressive' , 'useful', or even 'tedious'. I find it interesting because he's quite right. Trying to 'cure loneliness' is about the most daring thing a person could do when it comes to ones personal life. To put ones heart on the line is quite daunting; for you put yourself at risk for having it broken. When I first read the quote I over looked 'daring' and simply read it as Vonnegut implying that young people SHOULD find the cure for loneliness; adding 'daring' creates a whole new perspective, for me, as to what he was trying to say. My point to this post was, initially, to express how "fed up I was with trying to find the 'cure'" and that "it's not worth being 'daring' if it means becoming emotionally drained...not to mention slightly jaded." But after my walk home from work this evening (at a whopping 7pm...I sure do love 12 hour days...) my thoughts brought me to another conclusion: If we are meant to find this 'cure' then that's wonderful. However, if we're not intended to do so, then so be it. I'd rather be happy knowing that I'm not meant to find 'the one', and just live my life to the fullest, than trying to fight (and becoming miserable in the process) what is not meant to be. I know it sounds cliche; that's what I thought as well, but I think it's the only thing that's going to keep me going (not to mention sane--breaking down at 7am this morning in the staff room [thank God only two of my colleagues were around] is not something I'd like to repeat...ever...) at this point. I did not travel 4000 miles across the ocean to try to make anything work that is not...well meant to be. I made the mistake, for more or less the past 16 weeks, trying to do that. But the point is that I now know that my purpose for being here is the enjoy life, not to muck it up (for a lack of a better term) with something that probably will never happen. Why take the risk if you know that you will not make someone else happy in the way that a relationship should? I think that's what friends and family are for; knowing that you're making someone else happy with the reassurance that they will return the same (minus the sexual aspect of it all...ew...).

Then again, I there is that chance that I'm simply feeling sorry for myself;that I've just been dumped and will get over it with time. Regardless, venting really helps...

With that ALL said (I just wrote a bloody novel...)I had a wonderful time at home over the past two weeks :) It was great to see everyone, and a bummer not seeing some (sorry guys, I really tried to fit as many people in as possible...summer is my next visit and with much more time :) ). All my picture are up on facebook for your viewing pleasure. New Years could not have gone any better. I got to spend time with one of my closest friends, with some other really awesome individuals, listening to some great music, and drinking copious amounts of alcohol--not to mention I had an excuse to dress up (I never give up the opportunity to do that!).

I'm off to unpack (my suitcase made it to my house--oh yeah, AirCanada LOST one of my suitcases somewhere between Toronto and London...morons...) and relax for the remainder of the evening.

Relaxing Saturdays Are The Best :)

2008-12-06T13:39:00.000-08:00

So after quite an evening out last night for Sam's birthday I've decided to spend my Saturday night indoors, watching movies, eating pretzels, and catching up with friends back in the States (plus a bit of FB stalking in there ;) ).

Last night was fun. At first I was very apprehensive about going; I was exhausted on top of not being too sure who else was going to be there. Luckily, it turned out to be a really great time. Once in a while it's nice just to let your hair down and feel like you're back in college--when you need to act 'business like' for 10 hours a day, 5 days a week, it starts to wear a person out after a while. That's not to say that I don't enjoy playing the part of the adult and adhering to expectations of the working world, but once in a while it's nice to remind myself that I'm only 22 and I'm still allowed to act my age :).

I'm in dire need of new running shoes. My Asics are starting to make my feet burn after running and for the past month or so my knees have been aching after every run. Thank God I'm going home in two weeks (they're far too expensive to purchase here). I've come to the conclusion, and my boss agrees, that I need to find a happy medium between work and my running. I got to a point where I was pretty much all work and my running was suffering. That's not to say that I'm about to let my work suffer, but because running a huge stress release of mine, I can't afford to let it slip out of my life; there's only so much a person can do before they start making work their priority and their health and sanity begin to slip (I refuse to be married to my job...teacher or not I'm not about to let my health and well being slip).

I took a long walk today out to Caldacott Lake (a man made lake about 2 miles--or perhaps a bit more-- from my house). I got some really good shots on my walk there (all pictures are up on facebook) and then found a bench to park myself and read more of Russell Brands 'My Booky Wook' (such a hilarious book). I'm trying to put up pictures but it doesn't seem as though blogger wants to cooperate. I'll give it a try later.

Some more from good 'ol WH...

2008-12-03T12:58:00.000-08:00

I probably shouldn't have the energy to write a post, but I figured that I might as well since I seem to be a roll. Either that or I'm avoiding the massive amount of books that are sitting on my bed next to me that need to be marked; I bloody hate marking. I got a bit of planning done-- I'm starting to find that, despite the fact that most of the schemes of works have been planned out for me, I really need to start altering the lessons so that it fits the needs of my students. I've been worrying about marking so much that I think I'm beginning to let some of my lessons slip. Students are leaving having learned something, but I'm worrying it's too monotonous and my younger students are beginning to get bored. I let them draw and annotate today, which was a spur of the moment thing. I find some of my best lessons of the youngn's are when I just go on a whim rather than have set plans; it's for my older students, whom, if I tried that with, I would sink 5 minutes into my lesson. I can only imagine it now. Year 13, teaching Gothic Literature, spur of the moment planning in my head...haha they would eat me alive.

I had a brilliant lesson today with my Year 11s where I held a Socratic Seminar and they loved it. That took a bit more planning than usual, but for the most part, I found they really responded well to it--until one of my students decided he was going to put both of his legs over his head...yes, you read correct...a 16 year old boy put his legs OVER his head. Well you can only imagine the uproar that he sent my classroom into. Thank G-d it was at the end of the lesson and I was just going over Keepers. I thought I was going to piss myself to be honest--I can't keep a straight face with that class and, as much as they tend to drive me crazy, I feel like I'm slowly, but surely, forming a bond with them.

Today I sent a Year 8 out of my classroom because he was 'Heil Hitler-ing' during my lesson (ruler had sticky tack on it, put it against his upper lip, and did the salute continuously). When asked whether he knew what he was doing he said, 'Yes! Being Hitler...' and continued to do it. When I sent him out, he got bent out of shape and literally 'Goose Stepped' out of my classroom. I almost chucked my copy of 'A Christmas Carol' at him--but managed to restrain myself. My poor class was in utter horror. Needless to say, he's now in deep shit with the administration at the school... :)

My year 7s continue to be completely unbearable. One on one they're fine, but there is a distinct reason why I DID NOT WANT TO BE A MIDDLE SCHOOL TEACHER! I do not have the patience for students who cannot keep their hands to themselves. I did not go to school to be a babysitter thank you--it is not my duty to teach your children how to bloody share and keep their grimy hands to themselves. If I wanted to do that, I would have gone into Early Childhood Education or Elementary Education, and would not have poured hours and hours over people like Byron, Ginsberg, Chaucer, Southwell, and many others. I am here to teach English--NOT to play nanny.

That was my little rant about my year 7s.

I cannot wait until I begin my Masters. I'm still looking over the programs that universities around here offer. I think I'm going to need to get a car if I do end up staying here for Grad School. I'm still playing with the idea of applying to Oxford and Cambridge. Right now my main options would be one of the schools in the University of London system, Northhamton, Nottingham, and a few others.

Okay I need to get a bit of marking done before I head to bed. All lessons planned out for tomorrow (as are Friday's lessons). This weekend will be fun--Out on Friday night for Sam's birthday (a bit of bar hopping) followed by some faffing on Saturday and then marking all day Sunday...seeing Jason somewhere in there :) And I'm home in about 18 days. It'll be really nice to see family and friends

Gobble Gobble...

2008-11-30T13:57:00.000-08:00

Last night I held my first 'party'; A Thanksgiving meal to be exact, and what a time it was! 15 people in total, mostly from the English department along with my housemate Mel, Jason and a few significant others (of those in the English department). A 20 pound turkey, heaps of stuffing, green bean casserol, two types of mash, rolls, a vegetarian dish, three types of pudding (thats another word for pie for those of you reading this from the USA) and other yummy food were all included in last night's festivities. (To the right is Lucy checking up on her 'other baby...')

(Me and my INCREDIBLE American Flag pie compliments of Sophie)

It was really nice being able to have everyone together for an evening away from work. A few of us went out for dinner on Tuesday evening, followed by watching the opening of the school musical 'Notre Damn.' That was wonderful, but it was still school related and, quite frankly, the fact that we had our boss about 30 ft from us the entire night and were surrounded by our students, didn't exactly make for a 'relaxing' evening.

(Close up of 'The Beast')

Getting back to the meal last night; it really was brilliant. I truly feel as though I'm beginning to connect with these people on more of a friend level--I hated how, up until recently, it still felt just like 'work.' The people I work with have been nothing but incredible towards me and, believe me, I am so grateful for that; however, last night I finally felt as though I have actual friends here in MK. Sophie REALLY made it seem like that with her incredible creation that she brought with her for the meal (American Flag pie); I LOVED IT!!! :)

Over all, a good time. There aren't any pictures (well any good ones) of Jason and I (for those nosey people out there who are reading this right now...you know who you are ;) ). I'll have to find some for when I return home in December (which happens to be in 3 weeks...just putting that out there...not counting or anything :-D).

Triumph and turkey...

2008-11-24T11:19:00.000-08:00

This past weekend I played in my first tournament since arriving to the UK with MK Ultimate. Located in LOVELY (and I say that with the upmost sarcasm) Luton, 19 teams came together for indoor Regionals. 'You make REGIONALS!?' you might be asking yourself, and my answer is 'haha of course not!' There were two brackets: Upper and lower (those who had a chance at going to Nationals and those who didn't stand a chance in hell--aka the Swiss Bracket). Regardless of this separation, we managed to take first place in the lower

(MK Ultimate)

bracket (aka 13th place). Lucky for us only three teams were awarded prizes this past weekend; 1st, 13th and spirit award (which, for your information, was like reading off bloody objectives of a lesson plan. For example 'Team understood the rules of the game or were open and willing to learn aspects of the game they were not familiar with. Rate 0 being poor, 1 being normal, 2 being exceptional'--o_O). Our prize was suppose to be The Plate, but being we were in the Swiss Bracket, we were awarded with copious amounts of Swiss Chocolate (Toblerone to be exact--oh sweet sweet victory :-D ).

(MK Ultimate in all of our Chocolate glory!)

This weekend I'm 'making' my first Thanksgiving dinner! 'Making' because I'm having each person bring one item on my list of food, so technically I'm not cooking everything; just the main bits of the meal. I'm slightly nervous about how this is all going to fall together--it really could be a complete and utter disaster, or it could be heaps of fun (I'm really aiming for the latter of the two...). Jason will be there, which will be nice as my entire department will be there as well and I can finally start acting normal with him whilst they're all around (for the past three months, and understandably so, I've been 'sneaking around' the department, so to say, with how I act with him.). I have about 17 people coming (department and housemates included), which leaves much room for something to wrong--fingers crossed it all works out fine...

Relaxing on a cold and grey Saturday afternoon...

2008-11-15T06:34:00.000-08:00

Saturday afternoon and I'm sitting the Milton Keynes Public Library poking about on the internet. Jason and I headed into the City Centre to mill about the acheological exhibition they have up in the library followed by lunch and coffee at Waterstones. The archeological exhibit they had here displayed artifacts that dated back to the ancient Roman period; found right here in Milton Keynes! Imagine this: Gold coins, pipes, buttons, jewlery and many other items, that date as far back as 300AD!! There's a lot to be seen right here in what seems like a very quaint and simple area. It's mind boggling to say the least.

The weather is cold and grey, but it's warm and inviting in here. There's a talk on Mosaics in the other room (we ended up back here after Waterstones), but I opted out in hopes to update this thing and look up a few pieces of information for graduate school. I still don't know what I'm going to do past this year, but I figured it was a good idea to begin looking up programs just in case I realize I want to stay here. I'm looking into Northhamton, Oxford/Cambrige (I know but my grandparents said go for it anyway), the Open University, Royal Holloway and a few others.

I have five weeks until I'm finished with my first full term of teaching. If I survive through this I have accomplished one hell of a feet. Apparently, the first term is the most difficult, and after Christmas it becomes much easier. Lets hope this is really the case and not just some crazy claim people have come up with. I had my first observation this week. I received a 3, though it was on classroom management and I wasn't expecting much more than that; to be honest I was a bit disappointed, but there's not much I can do except take the constructive critisim and run with it. God I hope I survive the next five weeks; I really hope that I have chosen the right profession. People keep telling me that I'm "brave for going off to another country and starting my first real career as a teacher at the age of 21." To be honest, I think starting a teaching job at the age of 21 is brave in itself. I take my hat off to any of my fellow collegues who have gone into teaching directly after university and are surviving (even if only just). The fact that I am in a different country just shows that I am extremely brave, rather naive and stupid, or very much a masachist (sp?).

November weather sucks...

2008-11-09T08:16:00.000-08:00

So this past week was just about as intolerable as ever. Luckily, after being forced to go into work for three hours on Saturday, I was able to get into London, have some time to myself, and spend some much needed time with Bri and Travis--having an old friend from Towson, so close to me, is such a wonderful thing. I truly needed last night, and regardless of the fact that we pretty much were exhausted by 12, seeing an old friend gave me that much needed extra boost.

The terrible weather (SADD), PMS, culture shock, homesickness, as well as some other issues caused me (on Sunday) to seriously question whether or not I should have made the move to England in the first place; no thanks to a few friends, I quickly realized that it's silly to question a life altering decision based off of one horrible week--especially when everything else, up until now, has proven to be incredible. Though the novelty of being in a different country has begun to wear off, I don't think it will ever completely lose its effect. I am an American, always will be an American, and America will continue to be my home, regardless of my current location. I don't know how long my time here will be-- it could be another year, it could end as quickly as the middle of July when school lets out-- I really can't begin to make that decision at the moment.

Tuesday's election will go down in history; Nationally and World Wide. While many see this election as a breakthrough for the Black community in the US (and I certainly agree, it most definitely is), I see it more as a movement towards what we once were: a strong country, acting as one, defined by our patriotism and our desire to be great. On November 4, 2008 we began our steps, though small, towards once again becoming united as one, rather divided by two. McCain's concession speech proved, once and for, all that we MUST begin to work together if we wish to uphold the reputation America once had. The booing of his supporters did not shed positive light on the Republican Party, but his message certainly made up for it. Obama, whilst I was rather skeptical about voting for him in the beginning (up until about three months ago to be honest), proved that he fully understands the task ahead; his term(s) will not be easy. His speech proved that he understood that this change will not happen over night, just as Bush did not undo all that America had, prior to his presidency, overnight. (In my opinion, along with many others, Obama's speech will go down in history). The next 4-8 years will be grueling, and immediate positive change will not be apparent (this is something that many American's need to come to terms with); however, if Obama can do so much as to pave the way for change and rebuilding of American, in my own personal opinion, he has done his job.

Nel Silenzo...

2008-11-02T01:19:00.000-07:00

I arrived home from Italy on Friday relaxed and feeling incredibly at ease. I had ONE day back here feeling completely stress free, and I wake up today, after over half a bottle of wine, Amereto, and various other comfort foods, feeling like shit. I don't think there are words for how angry/upset/frustrated I am at the moment. It's like I've been pushed and pulled by the neck for the past month and a half, repetitively, much like one does to a rubber band, and finally I've been sent flying through the air; I have no clue where I'm going to land.

I was told last night that I was a cynical person. That hopefully one day I'll find someone who I can open up to. And that I'm really quite immature in some aspects of my personality.

Ouch.

At this point, I've realized 9 times out of 10 it really is me. That perhaps I am a horrible person, or at least I've been made to feel like one in this particular situation. Obviously there are other people out there, but when those people come into my life I will probably end up screwing it up, yet again; this will come as no surprise. The more I think about it, the more I realize that I am going to be alone the rest of my life because of who I am as an individual; men don't want to be with a person like me.

It's amazing how wine and Ameretto mixed together can really take away the pain of the initial blow and send you into that false sense of ease. I just needed that for one more night before I begin clawing my way back down to reality. As most of you know, I'm not a heavy drinker by any means necessary, but I can certainly see why people turn to alcohol if they've given up. Thank God my two (female) roommates were there for moral support.

My brain right now is on fire--literally and metaphorically speaking--or maybe that's just my pounding headache. Regardless, I am now going into overdrive mode. This is where I busy myself to the point of having no life as a means to forget, for a while, exactly what happened. Typically, my lessons turn out the best during this time, the rate at which I accomplish things is incredible, and my over all persona, on the outside, is beaming; there's nothing worse than someone who wears his or her emotions on their sleeve at work. I think the British call it a "stiff upper lip..."

Greetings from Italy!

2008-10-26T08:06:00.000-07:00

Hi all! Just thought I'd quickly update you on life in Italy.

So far--oh my goodness. That is about all I can say without going on some crazy rant. I have only been here (in Rome that is) for two days and I'm completely in love with this place. It's romantic, beauitful, and lively. I can't type much right now because I'm on a time limit. I am posting my picutres on facebook now for your viewing pleasure ;). Thus far I've seen the Colluseum, The Palentine, Arch di Augustus, The Pantheon at night, The Vatican and a few other things here and there. I am heading to the Jewish museum/synogogue tomorrow. The Vatican (which we saw today) was just simply beautiful. Intricate, sublime, and awe inspiring, it's no wonder people flock there by the thousands for spiritual experience. The Sistine Chapel is just eye popping and jaw dropping; I could not believe my eyes it was simple incredible. I might go back on Wednesday morning to hear the Pope Speak (he does every Wednesday around 11am) just to say that I did.

Must be off. Writing a few postcards and then heading out to dinner with Omar (one of the many interesting international people I've met on this trip).

Too low to find my way, to high to wonder why...

2008-10-19T12:20:00.000-07:00

I don't feel like writing in complete sentences for this post so here's a bulleted one:

5 days until Italy--the the excitement is overwhelming. :)
I just spent my entire day marking and doing house work. I am beginning to LOATH sundays no thanks to teaching...
The British Gas company is a complete waste of my time and effort--day 5 of not having hot water OR heat (bring on the five million layers of clothing--wahoo!).
I'm going to end up heading to bed at a ridiculously early time this evening. I really am turning into an old lady...
Halloween this year brings many interesting things: Coming back from my first experience in Italy, finding out once and for all whether or not this is actually going to happen, my first experience of Halloween in a different country (which should be rather interesting). I still have yet to purchase a costume--do I hear a Cat for the umpteenth year in a row...? I thought so.
Oh here's a goodie--I went to the Globe this weekend! I had a wonderful time (pictures will be up on facebook) seeing the place where Shakespeare thrived. Managed to pick up a few posters for my classroom (and one postcard for my own personal use). And no, you really cannot say Macbeth within the walls of the theatre; not unless you want have someone force you to leave the building, turn around three times, spit on the floor, knock on the door, and then wait to be let in (or so said the tour guide--who happened to be incredibly pretty--and possibly incredibly gay...).

Well that was my quick post for the evening. I'm pretty much planned for the entire week. I have two and a half more classes to grade and then I can finally get my half term break underway...God do I need this...

And I will go down with this ship...

2008-10-12T10:29:00.000-07:00

This weekend was probably the worst weekend I've had here in the UK. Friday night was, to put it bluntly, lame. Saturday after running in the morning, I went into school and did marking/prepping for this week for four hours, lunch/walk in the woods with Jason was lovely (only nice thing about the weekend really...) finally getting my card at HSBC, doing a bit of therapy shopping/drinking with Michelle, and then heading to bed at 11pm (what a Saturday night...). Today after running in the morning, I got myself ready and graded/cleaned/planned all day long. I've been so frustrated with this entire situation that I actually cleaned my ENTIRE house with the exception of my housemates rooms. Swept, hoovered, and wiped down every square inch of the main areas (including my room); A good stress relief (as is this post)--at least when I'm stressed I'm productive. Tonight will be spent finishing my marking of one classes exams, a glass of wine and one of my books.

I'm a bit ticked off that I needed to go into work on a Saturday; my father brought it my attention that I actually worked for the past 8 days straight (Sunday-Sunday). *sigh* I suppose in the back of my mind I knew that this was going to be the case during my first year. I hope that, as I become acclimated with teaching, it becomes easier and I can give myself more "me" time. It's terrible that I feel guilty for taking time out of my day today to clean/do laundry/make and eat dinner. It's like I'm student teaching again--at least I'm getting paid for this.

Reflecting on the year past...

2008-10-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

And so, as the weather continues to grow colder, the people Jewish faith quickly approach Yom Kippur, the day of repentance. It seems rather ironic that Yom Kippur falls during the Autumn season. While the Jews wandered in the desert, one can be quite certain that the change of weather was no where near as apparent as it was/is in other areas of the World. Autumn is a time when life begins to end its cycle once more and we once more reflect on our actions over the course of the past year, hoping to be sealed in the "Book of Life" (Note the term 'hoping.' The other option would be less desirable...).

All of this can really drive one to have a sit and think...

It is incredible how much an individual can change in the course of one single year. That's 12 months. 52 weeks. 365 days. I won't even try to calculate the hours, minutes, and seconds, but you get my point. Looking back to this time last year, I was a completely different person in many aspects of my life. I was beginning my professional year at Towson and still coming out of a rather difficult summer. One may say that my actions could be seen as rather selfish, and to some degree I agree one hundred percent; however, some of it I feel was rather necessary in order to get to where I am now. Some of my experiences during the beginning months scared me, because I saw an entirely new side of myself that I did not like. And yet, from these rather upsetting experiences came great ones--experiences which opened doors for me and helped me to become ad better person as a whole. Through bettering myself, I was able to act as a better friend, in turn, gaining the most incredible group of friends I have ever had. Period. This process was not easy, and as stated before, it took me to hit just about rock bottom in order to get back up to where I wanted to be, where I am now, and where I hope to stay for quite some time.

During my time trying to bring myself up to where I am now, for those of you whom I may have neglected, may have not been the nicest to, and/or perhaps all together fell away from, I have this to say: I apologize whole heartedly. My intentions were NEVER to hurt you, and while you may not want to begin speaking with me again, I hope that you can accept my apology; I never meant to hurt you if I managed to do so.

As I said before, it took many events to drive me to "rock bottom" so to say, but there was one that you may call the straw that broke the camels back. Jeff, I'm sure you never read this, but on the off chance that you do, I apologize. I apologize for letting the differences in our personalities ruin any civility that we may have had between us. I should have been the mature one in the situation to simply LET IT GO; but of course, hind sight is 20/20, and if I knew even remotely CLOSE to what I know now, well lets just say much of what happened never would have. On the same token, what ever you had said/written/done is and has been long forgotten; in light of Yom Kippur it has also been forgiven.

There were few of you who have hurt me this year, if any, and for that I am truly lucky/blessed. Those of you who know me well know I, for the most part, do not hold grudges, and so if anything happened between us, you were forgiven long ago.

I hope that everyone who is observing has a meaningful and thoughtful fast. I am off now to get a bit of dinner and then head in for the evening after a very long and tiring day.

Save my pennies for a rainy day...

2008-10-05T01:29:00.001-07:00

It's officially Autumn here in the British Isles. I believe Wednesday was the first official day, but this weekend has certainly reassured us all that Summer is long gone. The air is cold, crisp, sometimes rainy, and all the times blustery. I don't think I'll be leaving my house for the next 24 hours until I absolutely need to. I've already ruined, per say, the bottoms of two pairs of jeans...I'm not happy.

This weekend went incredibly quick. Friday night I spent cleaning my room, getting a few things sorted out, indulging in a glass of wine, and then heading to bed at the ghastly hour of 9pm. Welcome to life as a working adult. It's exciting beyond imagination. Seriously. ... Teaching really takes more out of you than one could ever expect. My Friday's tend to be less intense than the rest of the week. Unfortunately, it's all the work that is done AFTER the students leave that really can wipe you out. The monotonous grading of books where students constantly misuse commas, full stops (periods in American), They're/their/there, where/were, effect/affect, accept/except and the list goes on. It's the need for differentiating in EVERY BLOODY LESSON that causes you to spend three hours on a lesson when it really should only take an hour max; after a while I completely give up and just hope for the best. The silver lining of all this is that I'm not the only one struggling at the moment--most new teachers are and it's reassuring to know that I'm not alone. I could easily see how this section of my post could go off on a rant about how the children of the UK are falling as fast as the children in the US. How their education system is just as messed up and backwards as ours. How this "Every Child Matters" bullshit is just a different name for the "No Child Left Behind" act. But I won't, because I know I've already lost most of you to the next paragraph of this blog. So I'll continue on...

Yesterday was a bit more entertaining. Bri came to visit, which was simply awesome :) It was so nice to see her, especially since it's been almost 2 years! We got a bite of lunch at Ha Ha Grill (really good food, not so wonderful service), headed over to the mall area, walked around, bought a shirt from Monsoon (it was on sale--I can't actually afford clothes in that store) and then headed back to my house. Jason picked me up about 7, though we didn't actually leave until 9. We finally headed over to Stoney Stratford for the evening. The architecture is BEAUTIFUL there, even in the evening and more so even when it's raining/crappy out. We had some amazing Indian food last night, some really wonderful conversation, and then headed over to The Bull (since the other place was closing at 11pm on a saturday night. I was not impressed by this...) for a drink and a sit by the fire. What a nice evening!

Today will be spent doing laundry, creating powerpoints for my lessons this week, more cleaning, reading and, as my roommate Michelle says, much faffing about :)

Home sickness is setting in a bit right now. I'm not sure if it's the weather, my terrible PMS or a mixture of both. Some things I'm urning for at the moment: Bagel Bin/Bagel Boys, beautiful Autumns in Maryland and New York, trips to Columbia with Lori SCREAMING the Jimmy Eat World song as we speed down 695, early morning autumn runs down Putty Hill, Anny and Chris, crazy nights out with Sarah, Purrrfect Pitch madness, my second home: Starbucks, Susan always reminding me of such, the PNUSSY wagon, spurratic Panera meetings with my Wife, ladies nights out with Erin followed by much complaining about how Mahwah is a TERRIBLE place for people our age, and so much more :(

Sunny Days...

2008-10-01T06:59:00.000-07:00

Back in school after a long (though very pleasant) Birthday/Jewish New Year. Southampton was very nice despite the less than decent shul experience. The service was long, the rabbi was okay, the crowd was extremely OLD and the chorus made me (along with Dave and his sister) cringe. The sermon was what I had a real issue with. The title could have been "Leaving our selves and coming back to our selves." This idea that we should not think that our actions do not matter in life, but that in fact, they really do (at this point the small Existential part of me that does exist is going "yeah right..." while throwing any book by Camus at the Rabbi). His over all message was as follows: Doing good will bring you closer to G-d.

Blank stare.

Richard Dawkin's wrote on this issue in his book The God Dilemma. He made the statement that many people only do good in order to please/bring themselves close to God. I find a major flaw in this mindset (mostly stemming from Dawkin's point). If we only perform acts of love and kindness in order to please or become closer to G-d, then does that not make us as sinful as the person who goes out and intentionally performs acts of evil? If we are choosing to do good simply to please ourselves and the almighty being, then truly, we are not "good," but rather looking for that gold star to stick into our notebooks in hopes that, come the end of term, when we're standing at those pearly gates facing that big scary headmaster, he/she sees that we have a plethora of gold stars and enough to enter into Heaven; a selfish mindset indeed. To further this, Dawkins asks what would happen if there was no higher being to please, no one to fear, and no place to fear going to, would people STILL perform acts of love and kindness? One can only hope.

Enough on my religious rant. Unfortunately, this is where my views of organized religion are headed. Don't get me wrong, the culture and the history of the Jewish religion will always be in my heart--forever--there is no doubt about that. Many Jews will agree that Judaism is much more than JUST a religion--it is a people, it is a culture, and it is a nation. However, the existence of God and the over all idea of God itself has truly sparked many questions for me in the past few months or so.

Just to put it out there: it's official (by US standards). *Insert big beaming smile of happiness and joy* If you don't understand what I'm talking about, ask.

I'm at school right now during my free period so I should probably get some work done so I'm not here forever. (This post really has NOTHING to do with my experience teaching--though more about my experience in England...so I suppose it's okay that it's on here...)

More later!

It's your G-d forsaken right to be loved, loved, loved, loved...

2008-09-28T05:36:00.000-07:00

It's turning cold here in England. The leaves are changing and there's a definite uncertainty lingering in the air that comes with the rapid approach of Autumn. I've officially come down with my annual pre-winter cold...what a mess.

Last Monday-Wednesday I spent 13 hours at work, preparing and having nervous breakdowns as a result of the lovely tri-annual visit from the government grouped named OFSTED. I didn't see much sunlight those three days as I was walking to work in the early hours of the morning and leaving as the sun had just set behind the hills of Milton Keynes. This visit managed to turn everyone into edgy work-a-holic fiends; a terrible mixture, especially for teachers. The entire school was on edge as the group of five moved throughout the school during the day on Wednesday and Thursday. I felt like I was in the middle of a "Big Brother" episode--it was as if they could hear and see you at all times. Finally, Thursday afternoon approached and we all breathed a sigh of relief followed by the pop of the champagne cork (the English department knows how to party ;) ). It was nice that our lives could now return to their normal state of chaos.

This weekend was wonderful. Jackie and Tony came from Manchester to help me celebrate my birthday;I couldn't have asked for a better way to celebrate. We had a drink or two on Friday evening before coming home and passing out. Saturday we spent in central Milton Keynes shopping followed by coming home to a wonderful surprise from Jason. He had mentioned a few times that my bookshelf was far too bare for an English teacher. So he spent a bit of Saturday in Watersones Book Store buying me books--a total of 6. I honestly have never received a nicer gift from a guy in my entire life. The purchase was so well through out, as was the lovely note he wrote me, the wrapping paper (actually news paper), and the cute little notes he wrote me on wrapped book. I'm still beaming from the amazing gift--it was far more than I could have ever asked for (yes, I'm ending this sentence in a preposition...). Jackie, Tony, and myself met Jason at Zizi's for dinner later on that evening. Stepping back from the conversation momentarily, I realized at one point during the evening that I could see all of four of us getting together on a regular basis. I was not the only one who saw this as well--both Jackie and Jason mentioned something to me at separate times during the evening. I honestly cannot believe that it's turning out like this, and this well for that matter. Incredible.

Well, now that all is said and done, Jackie and Tony have gone home. I have planning to get done for this week as I'll be in Southampton for the new years with Dave and his sister. An early L'shanah Tovah to everyone who is observing.

Tomorrow is my birthday but it doesn't really seem like it--22 doesn't have the appeal that 21 had. It's just another year older at this point I suppose.

Mistaking the smell of cold stone with education

2008-09-20T13:01:00.000-07:00

Today was, without a doubt, the best Saturday I've had in years. To begin, the weather could not have been any more beautiful. I woke up at 9:30 and decided that it was nice enough to have breakfast in the backyard. Nothing like eggs, toast, coffee and the NYTIMES online to start off your day. The stock market skyrocketed after being on the brink of crashing this past Wednesday. A hugh sigh of relief was splattered across the entire business section.

11am Jason came and picked me up to head up to Cambridge for the day. What a trip. One hour on the A4 and we were in the middle of the City Centre. We saw so much that I can barely remember everything. To name a few things:

1. Corpus Christy and Christ Church

2. Old Wooden Church/A climb to the top to see all of Cambridge

3. A nice tea shop--Tea and a breakfast scone with jam and cream (oh man was that delicious!)

4. A 45 minute Punting ride up and down the river--the most relaxing thing I have ever experienced (I can't wait to try it again in Italy come October!)

5. Stone, brick and thatched roof buildings that probably dated as far back as the medieval period (I was in awe of most of the structures).

6. A nice hour spent lounging on one of the many grassy areas by the river watching the world go by.

*Phew* What a day it was indeed. I'm all smiles right now--really cannot help myself. Pictures are up on facebook and I urge you to look--the scenery was simply wonderful!

Tomorrow I need to return to reality and buckle down with a bit of running/errands/grading before my housemates and I head off for a bit of bonding time at the local pub.

Still alive and kick'n...

2008-09-16T22:13:00.000-07:00

I know I’ve been MIA for a couple of weeks now, and I do apologize for that. Last week was my first full week of teaching and this week, thus far, has been insanity. First and foremost—I survived my first full week of teaching. *Insert Rocky theme song* It’s 5:50 am my time here so please excuse if this post isn’t the most coherent—I’m still feeling exhausted after a long, stressful day yesterday.

Last week passed rather quickly and was wrapped up with an evening out with my colleagues, turning out to be an over all good time. My students, for the most part, were wonderful. There were a few times that I wanted to go ape-shit on them, but I managed to keep that under wraps. I tried to go into Cambridge this past Saturday, but I found myself sitting at the bus station for an hour and a half without any sign of a bus. Fail. Instead I went and met up with my roommate, Michelle, in London. There is this awesome festival every Saturday down by the Thames, and seeing Saturday was such a lovely day, it was packed. By the Tate museum they had Salsa dancing, which was awesome. Sarah, if you’re reading this, you would be in heaven. Anyway, we spent the rest of the evening in London reeking havoc on the city and all that jazz ;)

Sunday I managed to get grading in followed by a nice trip to an apple orchard with one of my colleagues. He teaches the BTEC students (really low achieving students, like our tech. students at home) horticultural, and needed to make sure that it was okay to take them apple picking. It was a lovely break to the grading and what not.

My students have been driving me nuts all week long. There’s no rhyme or reason, just that they’re settling in and I’m not longer a novelty to them. I have to really buckle down on them because yesterday one of my classes had me in tears I was so frustrated. I didn’t want middle school for a reason and I have four classes of Year 7/8. *Sigh* I’m hoping today will be better.

A few, quick, updates:

My bike is in and I’ve been using it every chance I can get.

My great grandmother died Monday morning at the incredible age of 102. We’ll miss her terribly.

I’m coming home to the States for winter break on the 21 and will be in Baltimore on the 29-2 of December/January

Time for a run and then off to work.

It had to happen...

2008-09-08T13:37:00.000-07:00

So regardless of my last blog post, I knew that there are going to be those days when I second guess my decision to travel abroad for teaching directly after graduating from undergraduate. I could have simply taken a job in Baltimore, Howard, or Montgomery County, and stayed local to my friends. I could have taken the safe rout, something I knew and was familiar with--then again, I don't think I would have appreciated it as much, in fact, I know I wouldn't have. However, today was very difficult for me--in fact, the past few days has been rather rough. I found myself missing friends terribly, feeling a bit lonely, though never physically alone. My roommates are wonderful, don't get me wrong, and they certainly brought me out of the slump today, but they're either from England, grew up in the "British" school system, or are used to being away from friends for long periods of time. The two American women I met from the synagogue were nice, but there was something about them that just didn't fit with me. They're married/engaged and seem to have settled quite nicely with their significant other. They have their own friends, their own daily rituals, and to be honest, made me feel even more like an outsider without intentionally doing so. My students today were particularly horrible, though that really didn't dissuade me from anything-- I think it was the overwhelming amount of information about testing during our curriculum meeting that really brought me into a slump. I told one of my colleagues today that I'm feeling frustrated, after all that time and effort poured into the program at Towson, I feel as though I've almost regressed because I'm learning a new system. I'm frustrate and feel as though I should be farther ahead than I really am. Luckily he assured me that I was not alone and that there's no reason to feel like that--he grew up in England and still felt confused. As a side note, I did something really stupid this morning that just added to the way I felt today. I found myself falling back into, what I suppose I could call, a bad habit. Luckily, I've taken care of it and it's done with--I don't think I'll ever find myself doing that again. I had to consistently remind myself that this experience abroad is my reward for putting up with certain things during my college experience--don't waste this incredible opportunity on thinking about certain people/things that are in the past because I'll never get that time back.

I'm exhausted and I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow. I should head off to fold laundry, plan, make lunch and then sleep.

More later...

First official day...

2008-09-04T13:37:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since I last wrote, but I figured I'd update you all on what's going on, specifically the fact that today was my first FULL day of teaching.Good news! I'm not running for the hills, tearing my hair out, hailing a cab back to the States. I had an interesting day, filled with both good and bad encounters. I had, what I will now (and forever) refer to as, my "crazy eights" class. A class filled with low achieving, chatty, misbehaving students, who left me with a migrane come 12:10. Regardless of this, I said something to a few of the teachers/heads of houses, and by 3:30 this afternoon I had one verbal apology from one of the "instigaters" in that class, two teachers (one being one of the Vice Principals) coming in tomorrow during my lesson, and three other teachers willing and ready to help whenever I needed it--to be frank, this school is simply incredible and supportive. Needless to say, my crazy eights will be met with a seating chart (my other students were perfectly capable of handling the idea of sitting where they wanted), two guests and class work (as opposed to the 'fun work' my other students will be completing) tomorrow when they arrive.

Aside from that, I had a few wonderful experiences. First, my "mentor" teacher, whom is also one of the four VPs here at the school, is helping me with my Year 11s and 13s. She asked if I could handle Year 11 (I was, and still am, a bit nervous about her being in the room with me at all times simply because I know I'll be observed at all times and that is a bit unnerving) on my own, and I assured her I would be fine. Apparently she liked what she saw because she interrupted the head of the English department's (also my boss) class to tell her how well I had done (I found this out from my boss later on). Finally, during our house meetings they read three essays written by three different Year 7s regarding their first day at Walton High. Somehow my name made it into all three essays (I must have won them over with my chocolate activity--note to self, feed students).

This past weekend we all piled up to Manchester to visit Sinead for her 21st birthday bash--what a time it was as well! For those of you who haven't already, view my facebook profile, you'll see the shenanigans that actually went on through the various pictures ;) Needless to say, it was QUITE the weekend :)

It's now 930pm here and I'm completely exhausted. My friend Dave from Oxford is coming to visit this weekend, which will be nice. I have a lot of things coming up to look forward to, aside from getting into the swing of things at Walton High. I miss everyone heaps, but after today, I know that I've chosen the right path for myself.

More later!

Time well spent...

2008-08-28T15:25:00.000-07:00

It’s over a week since I settled into my house here in Milton Keynes. All but one of my roommates have moved in and, to be honest, we get on really well! Though they’re guys, and can be a bit sloppy, I find them more of a stress release than anything. They taught me how to play cricket and I managed to teach them how to play ultimate—I might drag them to practice next Tuesday (I know they’ll be hurting by the end, and probably hating me for it, but I figured it’s completely worth it).

Before I get into the massive paragraph about Walton High, I figured I’d just write down some other aspects of my new-found life. Running, for example, has brought me to a place of serenity and relaxation. As I said before, MK has a massive bike path that spans the perimeter. I have found a path that is utterly incredible—I mean mind boggling. Imagine this: you’re running, and after about five minutes of roadways and bridges, you find yourself at this field with nothing but trees and the English country side on either side. Looking out to the east you find these almost sublime trees that seem to watch over the area, followed by at least 3 dozen sheep (haha I found this so amusing today!). Running into one of the near by villages, you turn left and you’re now running behind these trees with a waterway on your right. The rout is absolutely astounding. I know of another path, a fork in the road where I always bear left, that I’m determined to take either tomorrow or Sunday. It seems to lead to more country-side, though I can’t be too sure. I feel like I’m in my own little world when I’m running and I can pretty much forget about everything.

I’ve been having very strange dreams these past few nights, mostly due to the horrible mattress they provided for me (I’m calling the mattress company come tomorrow). Dreams ranging from trying to burn my mother’s house down (WHAT?!) to running into my ex, Jeff, whom I haven’t seen or spoken to in a year (what made me think of him is beyond me) are only the beginning. I find myself waking up in cold sweats, which is highly unlike me. To be frank, it’s bizarre.

Now for the Walton High update: I just went through two days of orientation (Tuesday and Wednesday) where they managed to throw enough information at us to make all of our heads spin. Thank G-d for my diligent note taking skills, otherwise I would have NEVER remembered any of it (some of my colleagues figured this out and I've noticed that a few of them time to time will glance over at what I'm writing lol). The education system here is just completely different in so many ways. First, and fore most, I've never ever ever been told (unlike at Towson where they practically ingrained this into our skulls) that "It's now ALL about the Students." Their mission statement and code of conduct is that, EVERYONE (including teachers) are entitled to attending classes and participating in the learning that goes on at Walton High. So this means, during my time off, I can sit in on a class, lets say Math, and not only listen to observe different methods and styles of teaching, but also to learn something( Maybe one of my Math colleagues will figure out how to get something more complex than 2 times 2 through this thick scull of mine). We also, every Wednesday, have short courses. Students end classes after lunch and then participate in random "classes" run by administrators and staff alike. Yoga, baseball, drawing, learning a language, ultimate frisbee (10 guesses who'll be running that one ;) ), and so much more are just a few examples of what we're doing. Ok here's the best part--we have houses--yes houses--just like Harry Potter. The head of my house wanted to call them by the Harry Potter names, but none of the teachers wanted to be Hufflepuff (understandably). We have fierce competition among the houses, especially during Sports Day where all have people representing their houses in various sports activities. Students pile out into the massive fields we have in the back (these things are ginormouse lol) with colored banners, face paint and pom pom--they spend the day coming up with cheers and making these banners and such. The school has an extremely high expectation for academics. Students have been given everything from a massive computer room that can sit 6 classes at once (about 120 students), white boards, interactive white boards, new labs for science, TVs and projectors in every room and so much more. There is a strict STRICT no gum chewing policy and no backpack rule during school and, because of this, the entire building looks BRAND NEW. They are building a brand new theatre facility where all the plays and assemblies will eventually take place (right now the hall cannot fit the entire school so we go in two groups). Our school is called a Business and Enterprise school--Tony Blair and Gordon Brown visited the school because of this. We are enforced to some how relate our lessons to something related to business and enterprise--I suppose business writing will be mine (uhg...). Their motto in this area is that, they do not want to create a student who is only going to be talking about breaking even, stock market, making money etc. etc. (all though that would be nice haha), but someone who can go into the work force and some how offer their potential employers something that will make them more desirable than their competition. There is a STRICT uniform policy--to the point that girls MUST have their hair up at all times, NO jewelry (unless it's two tiny posts in each lobe of their ears), no makeup and no nail polish! HAHA it's awesome...I can't wait to enforce that. Cell phone and iPods are a no no and can be confiscated at any time and put into a room where a parent must them come in and pick them up.

I'm heading to Manchester for the weekend with my friend John to meet up with some old RHUL friends. One of our mutual friends is having a weekend long birthday bash that I'm very excited about. My final weekend of freedom ;) Pictures of the house and other random things are up on facebook so check them out. More are definitely to come.

Settling in...

2008-08-21T14:53:00.000-07:00

Well, it's officially my first full day here in Milton Keynes. I arrived yesterday about 11am (two hours past my supposed landing time). From Heathrow I was taken to Walton High. The school, without a doubt, is the largest high school I've seen in my life (well, New Rochelle high is much larger, but moving on...). The staff is incredibly nice and hospitable. I feel as though I'll be fine when it comes to fitting in/meeting teaching standards. The students' GSCEs just arrived today and, from what I've been told, all scored very high--a good sign indeed ;)

My house is HUGE. I've never lived in a place like this--EVER! It has two levels--five bedrooms and two empty rooms, a brand new kitchen with top of the line appliances, fully furnished dinning and living room, and all bedrooms come with furniture and bedding. *waits for reader to close mouth from amazement* haha. My two roommates, thus far, are incredibly nice. One is from Packastan and one from Manchester (he's Muslim as well). The other woman is from Australia, though she's having issues with her Visa at the moment and isn't arriving until the first day of classes. I told her I'd update her on anything she needed to know. The town of MK is set up very much like Columbia, Maryland. You have Milton Keynes, the actual town, but within the town you have places like Kings Contrivance, Huntington etc. I live in Walnut Tree, a subset of Milton Keynes and each subset, much like Columbia, has a town centre (note the spelling haha). The area is very English, though I've been told it's nothing like the rest of the UK. Still, it looks similar to where Harry Potter lives (his Aunt and Uncles place in Surrey--which btw--is quite accurate). The City Centre is really nice. With the ski place, the shops, bars, pubs, clubs, rock climbing wall, markets etc., there is a lot to do/choose from. I'll be spending a lot of time there-- I can already tell.

Today, after going for a run, I did a bunch of looking around. Found my way to the local pub for some lunch followed by finding my way to a bus stop that took me into the City Centre. I really have been away from the UK for a while because a lot of what became second nature to me, has pretty much disappeared. I'm still getting use to the money and the accent here is more cockney rather than posh, like it was at RHUL. I have a difficult time understanding a good portion of the people here, but I think my ear will readjust as the weeks continue. Anyway, after lunch I asked around and found the bus that takes you into the City Centre (instead of walking the four miles). It's really easy and rather cheep; I can get a month pass for 35 pounds--not bad! My first errand of the day was to purchase a bike. I am now a proud owner of a bike and plan on taking that everywhere lol. MK is really Green Friendly for the reason that they have a bike/walking path that goes ALL OVER (Milton Keynes is not small, but they've managed to create a path that spans the entire town). After that I poked about and then headed home (purchased a new umbrella that is complete rubbish and essentially did NOTHING when it started to rain this afternoon during my walk back from the bus stop--note to self: do not skimp on an umbrella--less really is less...).

I met a friend of a friend from RHUL who took her sister and myself back to City Centre for a drink. It was really nice meeting more people and starting to see that I'm going to have no problem finding friends around these parts :)

Okay it's 11 and I should get going. I'm heading into London to meet Steph tomorrow--haven't seen her in about a 2 years or so! I'll update more in a few days or so! Pictures will be up as soon as there are enough to create a photo album on facebook.